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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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Hello, Doctor Balis. Sorry about last time, I just couldn't get away. All this is beginning to affect my work and...I just couldn't get in trouble again.
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Dr. Balis:
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In trouble? At SII?
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Ms. Green:
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Life has just been too crazy, Doctor. But it's not like I can just explain to everyone at work that the reason that I'm so insane is...god, you know. Well, you don't really. Life moves on. You've been out of it for two weeks now. That's a lifetime in the Green/Fleck household.
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Dr. Balis:
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Really? So what's going on? Is Aunt Helen still living with you?
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Ms. Green:
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No, she's gone as of last weekend.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's good.
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Ms. Green:
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Yeah, it's really good. I'm just not meant to be a therapist--I don't want to be that involved with other people's problems. Not that I don't appreciate what you do, Doctor. I really need you. Sometimes, more that you know.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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Okay, let me start or this session just might not be long enough. Kathy had an abortion last week.
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Dr. Balis:
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What? I thought she was dead set against it.
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Ms. Green:
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I was shocked, too. Although I should probably stop being shocked at people's actions and motives, it's pointless.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you know what made Kathy change her mind?
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Ms. Green:
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She came home last Friday with Martin in tow, and they announced that there is no more baby.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. I guess they got the results of the test for Down's syndrome. How did Aunt Helen take it?
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Ms. Green:
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She cried. But overall, she was relieved and even said so. She said that she just didn't think she could handle having a baby now. Kathy flipped over that, and the rest of the evening I helped Helen pack her stuff. Helen spent the night in a motel and went home in the morning.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why did Kathy react so strongly to what Helen said?
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Ms. Green:
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I think it's all about control for Kathy, control over the baby. It might be why she got rid of the baby. It's all such a mess.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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She was gone most of the time Helen was here. And Martin was gone, too. I still don't really know where he was hanging out all of this time, although I have a pretty good idea.
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Dr. Balis:
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Where do you think he was?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, Helen got very upset when Kathy didn't come home for a couple of nights. I didn't know where Kathy was or how to get in touch with her. I hoped she was all right. The last thing I wanted to deal with was a suicide or an attempted suicide. And for those three days, that's what we waited for--a call from the police or a hospital or the morgue. Helen was freaked at the thought of having to identify the body. I told her, if it came to that, I was going to go with her. But she was so scared that she came to work with me for two days. And that was a total mess. "Sorry, Julian, but this woman, who is completely unrelated to me, is afraid of staying in my house because she thinks my roommate might have committed suicide." God, it was awful! Helen just sat on the couch in the programmer's lounge and cried the entire day. She was freaking everybody out. And Martin took off to see his parents for a long weekend, so he was gone. Not that he was going to be any help.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you call the police?
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Ms. Green:
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Helen made me go the station with her and help file out a missing person report. They were no help. Finally, I thought that I might get some answers from the community.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you mean the S&M club?
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Ms. Green:
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I hadn't been there in months. But it was worth a shot. Helen was really on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You should thank me.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why?
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Ms. Green:
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I considered bringing Helen to you, but I thought better of it.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why?
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Ms. Green:
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Frankly, I just didn't want to share you. I know you must have a pretty low opinion of me now, Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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I don't...
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Ms. Green:
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Let me finish, please. Whatever you think of me now will change. Because deep down, I'm a very good person. And I care deeply about you. So you will...
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna...
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Ms. Green:
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I'm not saying anything, Doctor. I'm just...I'm so very tired. I feel like my mind is racing and I have so little control. I don't even have control over my dreams anymore. I used to be able to direct my dreams, but now...
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Dr. Balis:
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You're under a great deal of stress...
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Ms. Green:
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I know you understand, Doctor Balis. You're my oasis of sanity. God.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why don't you continue with the story.
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Ms. Green:
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Yeah, right. So I was going to go to a party; you know what kind I mean.
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Dr. Balis:
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I do, go on.
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Ms. Green:
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But Helen just insisted on going with me. I don't even know if she really knew about us and Kathy and all that. Well, I guess she knew where Kathy was working, or maybe not. I just don't know. She didn't seem to be too shocked when I told her where we were going.
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Dr. Balis:
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So Helen went with you to the S&M party?
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Ms. Green:
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It was like taking my grandmother there. I was so embarrassed. For some reason, I actually wanted Helen to like me despite everything.
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Dr. Balis:
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Was Helen...
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Ms. Green:
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It wasn't like she was mean to me. She needed me. But I...it was a very awkward situation with Martin and Kathy and I. I don't blame Helen for feeling the way she did. Under other circumstances, we might have been friends. Well, we probably would never have met if it wasn't for these circumstances. God, my mind is just so...I'm having trouble keeping my thoughts together.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you sleeping all right?
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Ms. Green:
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I don't know. I told you about the dreams. But I have no idea about my sleep. And there's just been so little time. I'm rushing around everywhere. Everything is spinning out of control. There is no time even to think.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. Are you eating all right?
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Ms. Green:
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You sound like my mother. I'll be fine, Doctor Balis. I set a goal of four weeks.
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Dr. Balis:
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What do you mean?
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Ms. Green:
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In four weeks, my life will be sane again, one way or another. I can hold out for four weeks. It's like being pregnant.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, regardless of how bad you might feel during it, you know that it will all be over in nine months. The deadline of nine months helps. So I set a deadline of four weeks.
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Dr. Balis:
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I think I understand what you mean about a deadline. You feel like knowing that there is a definite end helps you get through the present crisis. But why four weeks?
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Ms. Green:
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I think it's the maximum amount of time that I can take this. I know that things won't get better in a week or in two weeks. But four weeks just feels right. So it's four weeks.
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Dr. Balis:
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All right.
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Ms. Green:
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So Helen and I went to this dungeon. Everyone was very nice, but it was way over the top for this little Japanese woman. I don't think she ever saw anything like that before. I'm sure she was horrified, but she managed to function.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did anyone there know where Kathy was?
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Ms. Green:
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Someone said that she was performing again. You know that people will pay even more money when they know that the person being mutilated on the stage is pregnant? It's just so gruesome. People are just so gruesome. She was showing quite a bit. Kathy is tiny and skinny, and that pregnant belly just popped out on her.
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Dr. Balis:
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What was she doing?
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Ms. Green:
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I didn't want to ask for details in front of Helen. That was bad enough.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. Was the baby in any danger?
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Ms. Green:
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I have no idea. I don't even want to think about it. But at least we knew she was all right. I mean she hadn't committed suicide. And she got rid of the baby anyway, so...
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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So we were there, and I turned around and saw Martin trying to hide behind this cross set-up thing. I was going to just leave him there and go away. But Helen saw him, too. She went over to him and was going to...I guess she was going to give him a piece of her mind. But this big woman in an Amazon leather thing pushed Martin down to his knees and asked Helen and me to go. I was just as happy to leave. I think she might be the one that Martin has been hanging out with lately.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why do you think that?
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Ms. Green:
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There was an air of ownership about her. I just knew it must be her. And you know what? I didn't care. It just didn't bother me.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you think that Martin and this woman were having a sexual relationship?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm sure they were. I even have proof.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did he tell you about it?
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Ms. Green:
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I found this drawing of her in Martin's jacket. I wasn't going through his stuff, it just fell out. But it's clearly his style, even if he didn't sign it. See?
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. You're right, I think it's Martin's work.
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Ms. Green:
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I think he only does this for women he's sexually involved with. But really, Doctor, I just don't seem to care all that much about it anymore.
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Dr. Balis:
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Does Kathy know?
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Ms. Green:
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She saw the drawing. She can make her own inferences.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why do you think it doesn't bother you?
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Ms. Green:
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I think with all that happened, it matters very little.
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Dr. Balis:
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Does this mean you're going to break up with Martin?
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Ms. Green:
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Break up?
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you going to leave Martin? Are you going to leave this relationship?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm not even thinking that far ahead, Doctor. My world is so stressed...
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Dr. Balis:
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I don't believe that you haven't thought about it.
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Ms. Green:
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When Martin finally showed up at home with Kathy on Friday, I was just relieved that she was alive. I don't know how Martin managed to get her to agree to an abortion, but they are both too screwed up to have a kid together.
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Dr. Balis:
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How did Martin find Kathy?
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Ms. Green:
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He said that he went over to the clinic to try to find out the results of the amnio test.
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Dr. Balis:
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Kathy never told him?
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Ms. Green:
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I guess not. She never told me. Anyway, Martin said that he found Kathy sitting in the waiting room of the clinic. Apparently, she was scheduled for an abortion that afternoon. Martin stayed with her and acted like a good and considerate boyfriend. I'm not sure I believe all of this, but he took her home afterwards. That's when she got totally weird on Helen and told her to get out. I think Martin was so happy that the whole situation was over with, he didn't even protest. It was probably for the best. Helen was a total emotional wreck, and it was better that she got out of there and didn't get abused by Kathy's post traumatic assaults.
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Dr. Balis:
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So what is going on now?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, Kathy has been oscillating between being maniacally normal and completely hysterical. Mostly, she lies there, curled up in a fetal position and pretending she's in a coma. Martin is just thrilled life is back to normal.
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Dr. Balis:
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Normal?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, you have to agree it's better than before.
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Dr. Balis:
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I...
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Ms. Green:
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He's acting like we are one happy family again. Sure we had a few difficulties, but now life is great.
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Dr. Balis:
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And how do you feel?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm not feeling for the next four weeks, Doctor. I know what you're about to say. Just don't. Our time is up. I'll see you next week, I hope. We can discuss this whole thing ad nauseam then. Goodbye, Doctor Balis.
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna? Don't just walk out like this.
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Ms. Green:
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I'm sorry, Doctor Balis. I just don't want to talk about anything any more. All right?
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Dr. Balis:
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It's fine to not want to talk about something, as long as we pick up on the issue during the next session. But it's not fine to just walk out.
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Ms. Green:
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I'm sorry. I won't do it again, Doctor. I promise.
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Dr. Balis:
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Okay. I'll see next week, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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Thank you, Doctor. Have a good week.
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Dr. Balis:
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You, too. Goodbye, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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It's okay to go now, right?
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes.
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Ms. Green:
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Goodbye.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Anna Green's Communications
