Transcript of 21st Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Ms. Katherine Lippard, Wednesday, October 8, 1997 at 4:00 pm.

Dr. Balis: Hello, Katherine. Come in.
Ms. Lippard: Hi! Sorry about the time--I was tying up some loose ends. I wanted to make sure no decisions would have to be made while we were all gone.
Dr. Balis: While who's all gone?
Ms. Lippard: Well, I'm going to Columbia tomorrow, and Frank and Jeff are both leaving for the retreat in the Bahamas on Sunday. That leaves the department rudderless for Monday and Tuesday of next week. But they should be fine. I'm actually thinking of not replacing Jeff after I promote him to my assistant. We don't need so many accountants. We've been effectively running short for weeks--while Frank's been handing over the reigns--and everything's been getting done.
Dr. Balis: So you've been confirmed as the new CFO?
Ms. Lippard: The board meets in early November, but Frank thinks I'm a shoo-in.
Dr. Balis: Good. So are you excited about your trip?
Ms. Lippard: Oh, yes. I'm surprised at how excited I am. I've been thinking--I actually get along with my family fairly well. We don't agree on a lot of things, but I like my mother all right. I can't think of why I hold all this resentment towards her--she didn't treat me that bad. Maybe it's just left over from our competition for Daddy's love. I've realized that I blame her for his leaving, at least some.
Dr. Balis: Why do you think that is?
Ms. Lippard: I haven't figured that out yet. But I expect all that to come together starting Friday night.
Dr. Balis: That's when you plan to question your mother?
Ms. Lippard: You make it sound like an interrogation. It's more of a fact-finding mission. I'm not looking to lay any blame, I just want to get all the information so I can come to grips with this thing. That's the other thing that's got me so excited--I can see the end of my turmoil about my father.
Dr. Balis: How is that?
Ms. Lippard: Well, once I get all the answers, I figure everything will click into place. I can decide how I feel about everything that happened, probably stop blaming myself. I'll come in here, tell you the whole story, and have a good cry like you keep wanting me to--I'll start letting it go. I realized that I've been holding onto my father all these years, never really coming to grips with the idea that he was gone forever. I think as soon as I have all the facts and can think about it from that basis--not having to fill in the gaps or wonder about things--I can really accept it, deal with it, and then get over it. I've been a hurt little girl long enough, Doctor Balis. I'm ready to grow up now and get on with my life.
Dr. Balis: Very good, Katherine. I'm glad to hear that. As you know, I'm not a big believer in suppressing feelings, and I'm very encouraged that you realize you have to work through your feelings to get past them.
Ms. Lippard: I am too.
Dr. Balis: But I have to caution you again--your mother may not have all the answers you're looking for, and the answers she does have may not provide all the clarity you want. You may still have mixed feelings, and they won't just dry up and fade away as soon as you start to confront them--there'll be a period of grief. Getting these answers is the beginning of the process, not the cure.
Ms. Lippard: Oh, Doctor Balis. It's like we've changed roles. No, we've changed polarity. I used to be all cautious, afraid to confront anything, and you encouraged me to go out, get a life, and face my feelings. Now, I'm doing that with a vengeance, and you're pulling me back.
Dr. Balis: I'm merely encouraging moderation and trying...
Ms. Lippard: Yes, yes--trying not to get my hopes up for a fast cure so I won't be disappointed when it takes a long time. I do remember our first few sessions, you know. Wow, what was that? Six months ago? But yes, I know we'll still have work to do when I get back.
Dr. Balis: Okay.
Ms. Lippard: But that's not the only reason I'm excited about this trip. Do you know I haven't had a real vacation since I started at SII in 94? I've taken some days off--long weekends and stuff--and I've seen my family, but I don't think I've taken a solid week off since I moved here. I have weeks of vacation time accrued. I'm thinking of taking off again before Frank leaves. That's officially December 31, by the way, right in the middle of the fiscal year. But he'll be gone by Thanksgiving for all practical purposes. Hell, he's almost gone now! But what was I talking about?
Dr. Balis: Taking a vacation.
Ms. Lippard: Oh, yeah. It's too cold to go to Alaska now, but I could take a Caribbean cruise, or visit Hawaii, or maybe dance the Tango in Cancun...or the Cucaracha, or whatever it is they dance there. But it feels good just to get out of the office for a while, to know that they'll get by without me for a few days. It's like I'm not tied down, you know? Like I have freedom to balance my responsibilities.
Dr. Balis: That's important.
Ms. Lippard: And I feel like I have it all together. My house is in order: nothing in the refrigerator that'll go bad while I'm gone, everything's clean, plants are watered, shopping's done, laundry's done. And the office is in order: no projects are in the works, bills are paid, payroll is in early, calls are returned. I won't have to think about anything this weekend but enjoying my family and getting my head on straight.
Dr. Balis: Good.
Ms. Lippard: This must be what it feels like to be Philip--no responsibilities, no deadlines, just doing what makes you feel good and enjoying life. I'll have to talk to him about that on the plane.
Dr. Balis: Well, I'm glad to see you're so ready, Katherine. I hope you enjoy your visit.
Ms. Lippard: Thanks. So I'll see you..um, the 22nd? Two weeks from today, anyway. Enjoy your day off from me next week!
Dr. Balis: Have a good trip, Katherine.
Ms. Lippard: Bye!
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