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Ms. Raven:
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Afternoon, good Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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Good afternoon, Eliza. This is a nice house.
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Ms. Raven:
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Not mine--Mom and Ben's. He's in the office right now. He said that he's "not to be disturbed unless the house is on fire."
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Dr. Balis:
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Okay. What does he do?
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Ms. Raven:
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First, you come inside. I don't want Luke to see us standing in the doorway if he's trolling about.
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Dr. Balis:
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Okay, where to?
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Ms. Raven:
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In here--the parlor.
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Dr. Balis:
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Thank you.
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Ms. Raven:
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Have a seat. Would you like something to drink? We have all sorts of things, even alcohol, if that's your preference.
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Dr. Balis:
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No. I'm fine, really.
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Ms. Raven:
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No alcohol on the job, huh?
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Dr. Balis:
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That's correct.
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Ms. Raven:
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Well, don't get jealous--I'm going to have iced tea, sweetened and with a twist of lemon.
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, now that you mention it...
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Ms. Raven:
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Two iced teas coming right up. You just stay right here, and I'll be right back.
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Dr. Balis:
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That tea looks very nice, Eliza.
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Ms. Raven:
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Mom made it. It's scrumptious. Are you comfortable?
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes. Are these the antiques?
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Ms. Raven:
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Oh, Mom and Dad's antiques? No. These aren't them. Those are in the attic while Ben restores them. It's his hobby. He worked on these, too. It always surprises me what people threw in the trash just because someone painted them baby blue or did some other horrible thing.
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Dr. Balis:
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Okay. So, how are things?
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Ms. Raven:
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Do you mind if I sit at the piano? I have to practice, and I'm a motor mouth in front of the "ebony and ivory."
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, it would probably be better if we stuck to the session.
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Ms. Raven:
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All right, I can practice later anyhow. You asked me what Ben did. Well, actually I don't know. He works from home and is constantly engulfed in paperwork. I think he's a lawyer. He made hints to that or some other horrible thing. Anyhow, that's what he does--just cusses all day about wading through papers. Occasionally, he leaves the house.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. You don't sound very interested in Ben's work.
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Ms. Raven:
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It's not what I like. Do you want me to sing for you?
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Dr. Balis:
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I think it might be difficult to carry a conversation that way.
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Ms. Raven:
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Fine with me.
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Dr. Balis:
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Eliza...
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Ms. Raven:
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Luke called you yesterday.
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes he did. How did you know?
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Ms. Raven:
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Because he's left several messages on Mom and Ben's answering machines. One of which included threatening harm to you if I didn't come home. I'm sorry, Dr. Balis, but I'm not going back even if he kills you.
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Dr. Balis:
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Thanks.
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Ms. Raven:
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Most of the time he's all talk and no action, though. That's just how he is. Sometimes, he does follow through, but most of the time he doesn't.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you think it's possible that he'd try to harm me?
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Ms. Raven:
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Never can tell.
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Dr. Balis:
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Eliza, are you afraid?
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Ms. Raven:
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Terrified.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you avoiding the topic?
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Ms. Raven:
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Indeed I am. You're a perceptive man.
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Dr. Balis:
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Luke is stalking you--I think we should talk about this, even if it might be difficult for you.
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Ms. Raven:
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Nobody said anything about stalking.
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Dr. Balis:
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You said that he's "trolling" about your home and is calling you several times a day. It sounds like a potentially dangerous situation.
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Ms. Raven:
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He just found out yesterday. It's normal to experience a sense of loss when you lose someone. I managed to slip through his fingers. So, yeah, he's a little grief stricken right now.
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Dr. Balis:
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He threatened to kill me.
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Ms. Raven:
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That's not my problem.
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Dr. Balis:
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Eliza, this is not like you. What's going on?
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Ms. Raven:
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Once again, you crack me open--I'm hurting right now. And I'm scared. And I don't have the nerve to call Peter back. I'm being swallowed whole by my emotions, and it's not a whole lot of fun. On one hand, I keep having nightmares about Luke breaking in and killing me. On the other hand, I'm angry that I even liked--not to mention loved--that turd. And, what's more, I really want to be with Peter right now, but I'm afraid of getting hurt again. And what if the wacko that lives with him answers the phone when I call?
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Dr. Balis:
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Slow down, Eliza. Let's take one thing at a time. Let's start with Luke.
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Ms. Raven:
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He's threatened to kill me, too. He's threatened to kill everyone, including himself. I'm really tired of looking over my shoulder, and it's only been one day. Every time I try to sleep, I keep having a dream about him breaking in and killing me. Then I wake up, but when I fall asleep again, the dream is back. He's stalking me. He followed me home from work last night. He drove by the house every half-hour in the evening. He slept in his car last night! Do you know how I know?
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Dr. Balis:
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How?
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Ms. Raven:
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I looked out of the window this morning, and his goddamned cherry-red Ferrari was parked across the street, like it had been every time I got up during the night and looked out of the window. But part of me still really cares for him. I definitely don't trust him. I don't want to sleep with him. But I want to know that he's okay. I want some comforting for myself. I almost broke down last night and called him back and apologized. But he's the one that owes me the apology. He's the bastard. The bastard that I spent a lot of time with and became a part of. I'm having a reaction very similar to grief--like grief for the death of a loved one.
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Dr. Balis:
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It's okay to feel hurt. It's even okay to grieve. But it's not about your behavior, it's about Luke's. When he threatens you and those around you and starts to follow you around, he's way over the line. Have you thought about a restraining order?
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Ms. Raven:
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Yeah, but only as a last resort.
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Dr. Balis:
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He's threatening to kill you, Eliza, and you are scared. Why don't you give it some more thought? I'm thinking about getting one for myself.
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Ms. Raven:
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It's very tempting to jump in and join the bandwagon and get ahead of myself. He may just do this for a couple of days and then leave me alone.
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Dr. Balis:
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And if he doesn't?
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Ms. Raven:
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Then I need to hire some bacon to protect poor little old me.
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Dr. Balis:
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So, if this continues for a few more days, you're definitely going to get some help?
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Ms. Raven:
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Yes.
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Dr. Balis:
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Good. All a restraining order really does is allow the police to make an arrest when you call and tell them that Luke is violating it. But that can make a big difference.
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Ms. Raven:
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Doctor Balis, you're worried about my safety?
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Dr. Balis:
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I always worry about the well-being of my patients.
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Ms. Raven:
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Hmm...well, then I'm sure you have a lot of worries.
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, I must say that I worry more when they have dangerous ex-boyfriends threatening to kill them. Now tell me about Peter.
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Ms. Raven:
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I'm scared to call him.
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Dr. Balis:
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What are you afraid of?
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Ms. Raven:
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I get scared about who's going to answer the phone. Will they be nice? Will they be mean? What if, what if, what if. When I ask myself "what if" questions long enough, I lose all my courage, and hide the phone under a pillow for a while and ignore it. Then, I get mad at myself, uncover the phone and look at it, and ask myself all sorts of "what if" questions again. Eventually, I give up. I just get discouraged. It's that and the fact that the wacko girlfriend might answer that scares the hell out of me. I mean, I remember what it was like to be a jealous lover. What if she's worse?
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Dr. Balis:
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What if?
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Ms. Raven:
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There I go again. It's so discouraging.
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Dr. Balis:
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Try not to analyze it so much. Just make the call.
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Ms. Raven:
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That's nice coming from you. You want me to just pick up the phone, dive right in, and dial the number before I have time to hesitate?
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Dr. Balis:
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Sure.
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Ms. Raven:
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I've tried that. I hang up before I get a voice on the line.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why?
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Ms. Raven:
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Because my knees get weak, and I get a sick feeling in my stomach, and my mouth gets dry, so I can't talk to anyone anyway. What's the point in sounding like a hoarse cow? Actually, I'm afraid to call anyone. I don't use the phone anymore at all.
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Dr. Balis:
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It's not just calling Peter? Is it the people that you're calling or are you afraid of the phone for it's own sake?
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Ms. Raven:
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People! Phones are inanimate objects!
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, so are knives. And some people are afraid of them.
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Ms. Raven:
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A phone can't kill someone. I take that back. If you hit someone really hard, right across the temple or whatever, you might kill them...
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Dr. Balis:
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It sounds like you've had a long time to think about that.
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Ms. Raven:
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I watch too much TV.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Raven:
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Look, Doctor Balis, I really hate to be rude. But my mind is really not working properly. Could we continue next week?
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Dr. Balis:
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Sure. We're out of time anyway. Is next week at this time okay? That's Tuesday, May 13th at noon. Sound good?
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Ms. Raven:
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Excellent.
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Dr. Balis:
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Okay, Eliza.
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Ms. Raven:
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I'll see you to the door.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye, Eliza.
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Ms. Raven:
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And good day, Doctor. Oh Doctor!
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes, Eliza?
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Ms. Raven:
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Here's some light reading for you.
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Dr. Balis:
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A journal?
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Ms. Raven:
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Christina recommends it.
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Dr. Balis:
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The girl from the club?
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Ms. Raven:
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Yeah, she's cool. Well, see you later.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye, Eliza.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Eliza Raven's Communications
