Transcript of 36th Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Mr. Alex Rozzi, Wednesday, March 11, 1998 at 5:00 pm.

Dr. Balis: Oh, hello, Alex. I was beginning to wonder if you were going to make it today.
Mr. Rozzi: Hey, Doc. Sorry about that; I needed to talk to Katherine about something. I'm not too late. So, what's up, Doc? Ha! I always wanted to say that!
Dr. Balis: I see you're in a good mood.
Mr. Rozzi: Well, I don't know how good a mood it is, really. I'm feeling a little weird lately. So, they did it.
Dr. Balis: Did what?
Mr. Rozzi: The summons, or the subpoena, or whatever it is it's called, they did it.
Dr. Balis: You were served?
Mr. Rozzi: Yeah, sure was. I didn't take it so well, either. It happened last Saturday. Oh! Do you know tomorrow is the big day?
Dr. Balis: The big day? Oh yes, the trial. Benny's trial.
Mr. Rozzi: Sure thing. Tomorrow. Last weekend I was out with Katherine. And when we got back to my mom's house, this guy was waiting outside. And he just came right up to me and asked me if I was Alex Rozzi. I said, "Yes." Then he just handed me an envelope--inside were the summons to appear--and he just slowly walked away.
Dr. Balis: What did you do then?
Mr. Rozzi: Well, like I said, I didn't take it very well. And Katherine was there. If it wasn't for her, I don't know what I would have done. I could just feel the blood pumping up into my face. And my eyes were all like...I was feeling like I was going to cry or something. I just sat down on the porch and looked at the paper and Katherine. Well, she didn't know what to make of it. She just sat right down next to me, and we talked about it for awhile: about what it meant and how important it was for me to not do this...this thing.
Dr. Balis: Sounds like Katherine was a help.
Mr. Rozzi: She sure didn't hurt, Doctor. Yeah, but having her talk to me...you know. She treats me just as if I were her age or something, like an equal. It really did help, I guess. She kind of helped to put things into perspective. I realize that this thing isn't going away on it's own and I have to get over my own personal feelings in all this. I just need to go and get it over with, once and for all. The thing that worries me about it is the thing that Cecil told me.
Dr. Balis: What did he say?
Mr. Rozzi: For one thing, he told me that I am the key witness for the prosecution, which makes me real uncomfortable. Talk about pressure! I don't want to be the one responsible if they end up putting him away somewhere. And I don't think I could really deal with everything that goes along with all that, you know? Plus, he mentioned something about the evidence. There was a problem with it or something, I don't know. He said that often these kinds of convictions are hard to come by even with all the evidence. So they laid a real big guilt thing on me, you know?
Dr. Balis: I see.
Mr. Rozzi: And I haven't been sleeping. I sort of got into a fight with Jake. And tomorrow's the day. The day. You know, he even said there is a chance they may dismiss the whole damn case. Can you believe that? So even if I do help them in this--and not that I really want to--but if I do, everything could be for nothing. It's a no win kind of thing, you know?
Dr. Balis: I understand how you feel.
Mr. Rozzi: Well, I tell you now. When it's all over, I'm going to be one happy guy.
Dr. Balis: Tell me what happened with Jake.
Mr. Rozzi: Well, that's something else, I'm telling you. You know what the jerk did? Jake the jerk--that's what I've been calling him. Katherine told me it was him. He was the one who bought my paintings.
Dr. Balis: That's good then. Jake has an eye for...
Mr. Rozzi: Yeah, yeah, save it, Doc. Katherine tried that, too. It was this twisted thing about him wanting to give a gift to Katherine. He went and donated my work, in her name even, to this Youth Alliance thing. And it's kind of a cool place, but that's a different story. He donated them to this place. But the only reason he did it was because of her, you know? It wasn't because of my work, but because she likes me. It's just so...it's kind of...well, I don't know...contrived, maybe. It's so weird! But I went over there--to the gallery and Jake--and I had it out big time. I told him that it wasn't right for him to do it this way, so sneaky. That he should have talked to me about it. And then, on top of it, he made up that bogus story about an anonymous buyer. I thought it was somebody important, you know? That it was someone legit. It took away all the meaning of it for me.
Dr. Balis: How did he react?
Mr. Rozzi: Well, he wasn't happy about it. Voices were raised, and things were said. Before I knew it, I was walking out of there with all my work packed up and tucked under my arm, and with the check he gave me all torn up into pieces on the floor--he refused to take it back. It was kind of ugly. And Katherine didn't know we had this...this...uh, this confrontation. She was completely in the dark about it. That's partly why I was late today. I was telling her about it. About Jake the jerk.
Dr. Balis: But you said that he donated your art work to the...
Mr. Rozzi: The Youth Alliance. Yeah, well. That's about the only good thing that came out of all this. Those pieces are hanging on their wall right now. And I met a few people that work there, and they seemed impressed with my work. In fact, they asked me if I wanted to do something there with them. You know? Like work there or something. It's this real cool place that they are remodeling, with a theater and art classrooms and stuff.
Dr. Balis: Well, that's a very good thing to have come out of all this, if nothing else.
Mr. Rozzi: Well, I can't help but be sort of happy about it. It's getting harder to stay mad at Jake. I'd bet he never guessed something like this would happen. But Josh, a guy from the Alliance, didn't call me until yesterday, and I already had words with Jake on Monday. And the other thing is that at least now I know what happened to my paintings, so there's no more question there. Plus, those people there liked my work, and that kind of reaffirmed things for me. So, yeah, it gets harder to be mad at Jake and that's what I told Katherine. I told her that I was a lot less pissed about it than when she first told me and that I hope Jake isn't still mad about it. It was like I needed to blow off all that steam. Man, was I mad! So you're right, a very good thing has come out of it. I still don't know what I'm going to be doing at the Alliance or if it's a paid job or anything like that.
Dr. Balis: Well, I'm happy for you, Alex.
Mr. Rozzi: Thanks, man. Oh, since we're talking about my artwork, here's the draft for the one I did for Katherine. I haven't titled it yet.
Dr. Balis: Thank you.
Mr. Rozzi: Cool. I hope you like it. So anyway, where were we? Well, I told you about tomorrow. But I guess you already figured out how nervous I am about it. Hmm. You know, I just don't want to be the one to hurt Benny for some reason. Even after everything, I still don't want to be the one who turns against him in all this, isn't that weird? Before, all I wanted was to see his ass fry. And now, all I want is to show him some mercy. But you know something? Katherine helped me to see things differently. And after I made my decision to do it, to testify, Roly hasn't come to see me. So everything is working itself out.
Dr. Balis: I'm glad, Alex.
Mr. Rozzi: The thing is I haven't really been sleeping a lot these past few nights. And since Tony and Ralph have become such good buddies, they're staying up late and keeping me up talking about everything. You know what they did? And this bugs the hell out of me, too. They got to talking a few weeks ago about that dude, you know? The one who helps people commit suicide? What's his name? Kevorkian. Yeah, that's it. Well, they got into this long-winded philosophical discussion about assisted suicide, and I was so not into this stuff. But these two...well, they just kept it up. And now, all of a sudden, since they both have HIV, they both decided to join the Hemlock Society.
Dr. Balis: Really?
Mr. Rozzi: Yeah, you know about them. Shit! And I thought they were this place that took care of your ashes after you were already dead. But Tony and Ralph both seem to agree that choosing the time and the place is a personal choice. I don't know what to think. I just see it as more notches in the old belt buckle, you know? I already told Ralph that I don't think I can help him with this. And Tony knew better than to ask me, because I made it pretty clear to both of them. It's not like I'm against it or for it, it's just that it's not for me. What do you think?
Dr. Balis: Tony and Ralph wanted you to help them with their suicides?
Mr. Rozzi: Yeah. But it's really not for me. But what do you think about assisted suicide? Do you think it's okay?
Dr. Balis: Well, we're not really here to talk about what I think.
Mr. Rozzi: Oh, come on, I know you have an opinion about this.
Dr. Balis: I don't believe in making general pronouncements about this issue.
Mr. Rozzi: So you think it's okay sometimes?
Dr. Balis: Our time is up. You are making some good choices for yourself, Alex. I want to encourage you to take your time with things. That's mostly what you've been doing, although it sounds like you're a little sorry about flying off the handle at Jake. And take your melatonin. It may help you to get some sleep tonight; you need to be at your best tomorrow. I think that's very important. Call me if you need me.
Mr. Rozzi: Thanks.
Dr. Balis: Good luck, Alex. I'll see you next week?
Mr. Rozzi: All right. Later, dude. But next time, I'm going to ask your opinion again.
Dr. Balis: Goodbye, Alex. And get some sleep, okay?
Mr. Rozzi: All right, I'll try. Thanks, man.
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