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Ms. Green:
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Hello Doctor. How are you?
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Dr. Balis:
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Hello Anna. I'm doing well. And you?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm doing really well. Thank you for asking Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's good. Would you like to talk about that?
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Ms. Green:
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Anything to make you happy Doctor. Let's see, after I saw you last I went straight home, had some dinner--all alone mind you--and went to bed also all alone. The next day I went to SII, worked for three hours, went to lunch, and then worked for six more hours, and then went home. Ate some dinner and went to bed. Then on Saturday I slept in late, woke up, took a shower, had some coffee...
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Dr. Balis:
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I don't think I need this level of detail. I'm getting a feeling that something in particular happened last week. Would you like to talk about that?
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Ms. Green:
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I just wanted to give you a feeling that I'm not a social butterfly. I'm a real person who basically spends most of her time working.
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Dr. Balis:
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I know that Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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Good. I just wanted to make sure that you do.
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Dr. Balis:
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So what happened last week?
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Ms. Green:
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Well I didn't see John the whole weekend and he was very upset with me and questioned me about losing interest in him.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you?
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Ms. Green:
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No, not really. He's a nice guy and all. I like spending time with him. He is great to go to the movies with or to just walk around town doing nothing in particular. We have fun conversations.
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Dr. Balis:
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But?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm just not really attracted to him in the way he is attracted to me. I thought if I gave it some time, I would start to feel differently. But it hasn't really happened. Now when I see John, I feel guilty.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why is that?
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Ms. Green:
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I know that he wants to hug me and to kiss me, but the thought of that makes me very uncomfortable. I really don't want him touching me like that.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you let him?
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Ms. Green:
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I grin and bear it.
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Dr. Balis:
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I thought we talked about this before--Anna Green has a right to refuse any unwanted touching at any time even if it will result in hurting someone's feelings. Remember?
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Ms. Green:
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I do. But I feel responsible. I led him on and now he is so happy. It doesn't really hurt anything and it's not like I'm completely disgusted by his touch. I just don't want to let it go too far.
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Dr. Balis:
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Sounds like you need to have a talk with John. Don't you think it would be only fair to let him know how you really feel? You might hurt him a lot more in the long run if you don't.
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Ms. Green:
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You're right of course Doctor. But--this is going to sound really selfish--on some level I enjoy having John run around after me, you know? Before I always had to do all the pursuing. I'd just like to experience it the other way around for just a bit longer.
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, what about Bill?
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Ms. Green:
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What do you mean?
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Dr. Balis:
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You told me that in the beginning Bill was the one to go after you, remember?
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Ms. Green:
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That's true. But that didn't last too long. With Bill, as soon as I said yes it was all over. Then I had to do all the work.
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Dr. Balis:
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What about David?
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Ms. Green:
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That was just a one night...evening stand. It doesn't really count.
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Dr. Balis:
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What about the guy in LA? He came after you. He even tried to pursue the relationship long distance.
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Ms. Green:
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For a couple of hours until he found Miss "Love of His Life" and dropped me like yesterday's trash.
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Dr. Balis:
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So what you really like about John's attentions is their constancy?
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Ms. Green:
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For once in my life there is this guy who really wants me and wants me not for a day or a week but for the rest of his life. And the sad part is I just don't feel it. I'm going to blow it. And I even like him as a friend and everything. But hard as I try I just don't feel more.
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Dr. Balis:
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You can't force yourself to love someone Anna. The chemistry either happens or it doesn't. You can't will it to happen.
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Ms. Green:
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I guess. It's just a shame that's all. Here I have all the chemistry in the world that one would need but it's all for you. You can just look at me and I feel...
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna you know...
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Ms. Green:
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...wet and hot.
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna you know it can't happen between the two of us no matter how much chemistry there might be between us. One of the goals of our sessions is to refocus this energy on other people. If John is not the one, that's okay. There will be others.
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Ms. Green:
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Doctor, I agree with everything you're saying. But I still think about you all the time. I even...oh you're going to hate this.
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Dr. Balis:
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What?
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Ms. Green:
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When John tries to hug me I imagine that it's you and not John. And when I do I can feel myself melting in his arms. I see your face in place of John's and I begin to burn with desire. And poor John thinks it's all because of him.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see how it might be difficult for John to believe that you are not interested in him.
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Ms. Green:
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I know I'm using him. But I won't take it any further Doctor. You don't have to worry.
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Dr. Balis:
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You mean you're going to talk to him?
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Ms. Green:
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No not yet. But I will not sleep with him pretending it's you.
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Dr. Balis:
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Well that's a relief.
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Ms. Green:
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I mean I won't make love to him.
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Dr. Balis:
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I understood.
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Ms. Green:
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I slept with him already.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm?
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Ms. Green:
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He came over to watch a movie one evening and I let him stay over and sleep with me in my bed. But he promised me that he wouldn't try to do anything. And he behaved like a perfect gentleman.
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Dr. Balis:
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Good.
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Ms. Green:
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I wasn't very good.
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Dr. Balis:
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Oh?
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Ms. Green:
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I knew John wouldn't touch me if he promised me not to. So I decided to sleep in the nude.
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Dr. Balis:
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Just to torture him?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm sure he enjoyed it. And if given the choice of me sleeping in pajamas or wearing nothing at all, he would have chosen the latter. Don't you think Doctor? I hope it would have been your choice.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did he sleep in the nude too?
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Ms. Green:
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I wouldn't let him. But I could still see that he was very interested in me.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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I know it was kind of bad of me. But on the other hand I want to keep his fantasy life exciting and vivid.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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I dreamt about you that night. I pretended that it was you in bed with me. If we didn't touch, we wouldn't have broken any of your silly psychiatric rules about doctors and patients. Don't you think?
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Dr. Balis:
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I believe that...
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Ms. Green:
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For example if I were to take off my blouse right now--let's pretend that I have this irresistible impulse to get naked--you wouldn't be breaking any rules would you? You just have a very sick patient in your office, that's all. Some of your patients twitch, some have multiple personalities, and some want to be naked.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's a very interesting and creative solution Anna. But we both know that that would be just a pretend desire and not a real one. So please...
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Ms. Green:
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Oh I wouldn't be pretending Doctor. I want to be naked around you. I want you to see me and to touch...
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna you are going too far. Please put your blouse back on. Right now!
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Ms. Green:
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But Doctor! I haven't taken off my pants yet.
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Dr. Balis:
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I think we should end our session early today.
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Ms. Green:
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Don't you think I look nice?
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Dr. Balis:
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Please stop Anna. This is really insane.
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Ms. Green:
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That's why I need you Doctor. I can't help myself.
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes you can.
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Ms. Green:
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Here, look at me all over.
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna, step away from the window!
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Ms. Green:
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I don't mind if they see me--you're a Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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Put your clothes back on right now.
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Ms. Green:
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Oh Doctor. Don't you have the teeniest bit of desire towards me?
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Dr. Balis:
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Now Anna. I won't play this game with you.
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Ms. Green:
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Doctor, you must be able to see how much I want you.
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Dr. Balis:
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It's irrelevant. Put the clothes on now. I must insist.
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Ms. Green:
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It's relevant to me. Oh all right. But you weren't really offended; I could tell. You can't be completely immune to a naked woman throwing herself at you.
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Dr. Balis:
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The shirt too. I hope that you will think about what you have done just now and realize just how inappropriate your behavior has been.
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Ms. Green:
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Don't worry Doctor. I'll be thinking about it. I don't think I'll be able to think about anything else.
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Dr. Balis:
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Our session's over Anna. I'll see you next week.
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Ms. Green:
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I'll be here. Goodbye Doctor. Thank you.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye Anna.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Anna Green's Communications
