Real Signs from Around the World:

In a Bangkok temple:

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

Detour Sign in Kyushi, Japan:

Stop. Drive sideways.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:

The lift is being fired for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In the window of a Swedish furrier:

Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

In a Paris elevator:

Please leave your values at the Front Desk.

In a Japanese Hotel:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

Swiss Restaurant Menu:

Our wishes leave you nothing to hope for.

Outside a Hong Kong dress shop:

Ladies have fits upstairs.

Outside a Paris dress shop:

Dresses for street walking.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

On the box of a clock made in Hong Kong:

Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

A sign posted in Germany's black forest:

It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

A translated sentence from a Russian chess book:

A lot of water has been passed under this bridge since this variation has been played.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:

To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

At a hotel in Athens:

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9:00 and 11:00 AM daily.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox

monastery:

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and

Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

On the Menu of a Polish Hotel:

Salad a firm's own make, Limpid Red Beet Soup with cheesy dumplings in the form a finger, Roasted Duck let loose, Beef Rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion

From the Soviet Weekly:

There will be a Moscow exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

In a Zurich hotel:

Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an East Africa newspaper:

A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In a Swiss Mountain Inn:

Special today - no Ice Cream.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:

Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute

customers in strict rotation.

In an Acapulco hotel:

The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

On door of a Moscow hotel room:

If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian Cocktail Lounge:

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

At a Budapest Zoo:

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food give it to the guard on duty.

In a Leipzig elevator:

Do not enter the lifts backwards, when only when lit up.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:

The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the

chambermaid.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

From a brochure of a Tokyo car rental firm:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigor.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:

Drop you trousers here for best results.

In a Vienna hotel:

In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

In a Rome laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:

Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no

miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:

Would you like to ride on you own ass?

On the faucet in a Finnish washroom:

To stop the drip, turn cock to right.

In a Tokyo bar: