I feel like therre is no sense of continuing with this lie I call a life. I have negativly affected the people I care about the most. It seems like the more I care about someone, the more I mess thing up in their life. I have started the search for my husbands' hand gun. I won't do it at the house because I don't want anyone to have to clean up a mess. Maybe in the woods. I have tried counceling, and medication. I don't feel any better and I still mess everything up. This is the last resort, but the only one I have left. I just wanted to put it down in writing to see if I still have the nerve to do it after reading the words. The goo dpart of the whole thing is I will see my son again. Since he is with God I won't be able to mess him up.
Front Screen of The Company Therapist
