Saturday, November 21, 1998
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Sunday, November 22, 1998
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Monday, November 23, 1998
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12 pm. Forty-Eighth Session with Katherine Lippard. I had a surprising session with Katherine today. This is the second time I've seen her since May, and today it was all about selfishness. She feels guilty about it, but she really isn't able to tolerate Alex's continual emotional demands upon her. Alex is living at her house, and she wants him out. She wants to be living alone. While Katherine has devoted herself to doing good works on an abstract level, when it comes to really getting her hands dirty she seems to need to back away. I told her to do what was right for her emotional health, of course. But she didn't feel much like the Katherine that I used to know. She also gave hints that she's feeling insecure about her own mental stability. She said that she's worked hard to get to the place that she's in now, and she's afraid to disrupt it. I got the impression that she feels as if the stability is really a perilous perch rather than a solid foundation. She also told me that she's about to start dating a very rich man who doesn't have much of an occupation other than clipping coupons. Without being too judgmental--okay, maybe I am being judgmental--he doesn't sound like someone who she would have been interested in a year ago.
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Tuesday, November 24, 1998
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Wednesday, November 25, 1998
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5 pm. Sixty-Ninth Session with Alex Rozzi. Perhaps Alex is beginning to see that there are consequences to his actions. While Katherine was in her session with me on Monday, Alex was moving out of her house. He's always been quick to pick up on how other people are feeling towards him. He left a note but he didn't really have any place to go--I'm not sure how much he's burned his bridges with Ralph--and he ended up staying at a Tenderloin motel. He also resumed his nocturnal wanderings and went back to his favorite site under the girders of the Golden Gate Bridge. There, he churned over his interpersonal relationships and came to the conclusion that he always messes them up. He even apparently had some suicidal ideation, but I don't think Alex is in serious danger of taking his own life. He contacted Luke and is staying at the condo Luke maintains in San Francisco, even though he's still in New York. He hasn't contacted Katherine since he left her house on Monday, and I'm sure she's very concerned about him. He said he'd call her after our session. He's very nervous that he might have destroyed his relationship with her. He met with his criminal defense attorney who told him that there is evidence on the videotape which tends to exonerate Alex from the most serious charges respecting Benny. I guess I was wrong in disbelieving Alex about that part of his story, and I'm very happy that he was telling the truth. Alex's mother, while remaining hostile to Alex, invited him to Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. Alex was very emotional as he told me that he intends to accept her invitation.
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Thursday, November 26, 1998
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Thanksgiving Holiday
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Friday, November 27, 1998
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Thanksgiving Holiday
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Charles Balis' Personal Diary & Log