Transcript of 4th Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Mr. Herbert Michel, Thursday, October 1, 1998 at 10:00 am.

Dr. Balis: Hello, Herb.
Mr. Michel: Hey, Doc. How you doing?
Dr. Balis: I'm fine, Herb. How are you?
Mr. Michel: I'm fucking exhausted. I've got too much going on. I almost didn't make it here today.
Dr. Balis: I'm glad you found the time to come in. But if you need to cancel a session in the future, please give me a call.
Mr. Michel: Okay. So what about Lenore? She really is a dim bulb, don't you think?
Dr. Balis: I actually found Lenore to be quite intelligent. But it was difficult to moderate a discussion with constant interruptions. I can't counsel a couple if one member persists in being abusive. A counseling session is a place to work things out, to discuss problems in a calm and reasonable manner. You spent the time hurling insults at Lenore and then stormed out when I disagreed with you.
Mr. Michel: Yeah, okay. She just makes me so mad. No one else has ever pissed me off like that. Do you know what she did the other night? She's been ragging on that story I wrote, saying the facts are all wrong. She found this book for me at the library. It says Prometheus was rescued by Chiron the Centaur. I've never heard of that. I thought he was made to suffer forever.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Mr. Michel: And she read all this other shit to me about ancient Greeks being homos. I told her to shut the fuck up. My heroes weren't a bunch of homos! Prometheus was no homo.
Dr. Balis: Well...
Mr. Michel: I'm not talking about music, Doc. I'm talking Greek history and mythology.
Dr. Balis: My understanding is that homosexuality was accepted in Ancient Greece culture.
Mr. Michel: Hmm. So maybe Prometheus was a fag after all. I wonder if he turned queer for Chiron as a favor for letting him go. I guess after spending centuries being chained to a rock and having his liver eaten by a bird, being fucked in the ass by a big, old horse cock didn't seem so bad.
Dr. Balis: If I remember correctly, Zeus decreed that Prometheus would be released if an immortal being died for him and a mortal one freed him. Chiron the Centaur gave his life for Prometheus; and Hercules broke Prometheus' chains and killed the eagle that plucked at his liver.
Mr. Michel: Oh, I see. So Prometheus and Hercules were porking each other. That's not as gross as fucking some horse guy, but it's still pretty disgusting, though. Queers make me sick. What's wrong with them?
Dr. Balis: I find it interesting that you chose to write about Prometheus.
Mr. Michel: Yeah, I like those old stories.
Dr. Balis: Do you feel trapped?
Mr. Michel: Huh? Oh, do you mean like being chained to a rock? Yeah, sometimes. And that fucking Lenore eating out my goddamned guts every day...she sucks out everything in my wallet, too. Maybe you'll set me free, uh? You'll rescue me. Only you aren't getting any rump-wrangling from me in return, no matter what you do, you got that?
Dr. Balis: I wouldn't dream of it.
Mr. Michel: You're not a homo, are you, Doc?
Dr. Balis: My sexual orientation really isn't an issue here.
Mr. Michel: The hell it's not! It's bad enough that I'm seeing a shrink, he's got to be a homo, too. Why didn't you tell me, Doc?
Dr. Balis: Actually, Herb, I'm heterosexual.
Mr. Michel: Okay, Doc. I didn't really think you were a homo. You seem like a normal guy. I heard the president of SII is a homo. I try not to touch anything in his office. I just vacuum real quick and get the fuck out. I wonder how many queers they got working there.
Dr. Balis: Homosexuality isn't contagious, Herb. And you can't contract AIDS simply by touching the desk of a gay man.
Mr. Michel: Yeah, that's what they want you to think. I'm not taking any chances.
Dr. Balis: Why do you feel such animosity towards homosexuals?
Mr. Michel: Do you have to ask why? Because they're fucking sick, that's why! What kind of sick fuck gets off by sticking his dick in some other guys ass? It's not natural.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Mr. Michel: I'm getting grossed-out here. Let's talk about something else.
Dr. Balis: All right.
Mr. Michel: I don't know why that fucking Lenore had to go and tell me all that. She ruined my story.
Dr. Balis: It sounds like she had an interest in the subject, and she might have wanted to help you.
Mr. Michel: No, Lenore just wants to make me feel bad. She's like a little kid.
Dr. Balis: She's still a child in many ways, Herb. Teenagers require a lot of patience.
Mr. Michel: She's eighteen, she's legally an adult. It's time for her to start acting like one.
Dr. Balis: Have most of your relationships been with younger women?
Mr. Michel: Most were about my age. I don't want an old broad, with saggy boobs and wrinkles and shit. My first girl was a really hot chick. She was only sixteen, but she was a lot more mature than Lenore. She was a wop, too. I guess I got a thing for Dago chicks. I was eighteen when I met Pauline. I was really in love with her, I lost my head. She taught me everything, you know, sex-wise. Pauline was real smart, too. She knew how to get under the skin.
Dr. Balis: How long were you together?
Mr. Michel: Two years. We fought a lot, yelled, and threw dishes and shit--she kept cheating on me. Pauline didn't work. Well, she didn't have an ordinary job anyway. She used to say I didn't make enough money, and she wanted to find a rich man.
Dr. Balis: Did you meet Pauline in high school?
Mr. Michel: No, she dropped out. We were both drop-outs. One of my friends fixed me up with her; he said I needed to get laid.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Mr. Michel: Pauline had no problems finding men. When she was mad at me or just bored, she'd go hitchhiking and get some guy in a nice car to pick her up. He'd take her out for a steak dinner, and then she'd fuck him or get him drunk and roll him, or both. With that face and that body she could get anything she wanted. She made me so mad. I ended up doing shit loads of coke to get her off my mind. All the coke I did made me crazy. One of my best buddies--he really saved my ass--called up my mom and said, "Your son's acting like a total asshole." Mom came over the next day and told Pauline to pack her things. Pauline didn't even try to argue, she knew my mom. I was so fucked up, I didn't even say anything.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Mr. Michel: Once, I think I saw her in Berkeley. That was a few months ago. She was hanging out on Telegraph Avenue. I don't know where she is now.
Dr. Balis: What was it that initially attracted you to Lenore?
Mr. Michel: She was real quiet and sweet. She seemed kind of lonely. She has that long hair and big breasts, I really dig that. I asked her out because I figured it would make her feel good if an older guy was interested in her. I was doing her a favor, you know? I'm the only guy she's ever been with. She's never even had a date before me. Most guys wouldn't bother with her. Now I know why.
Dr. Balis: I see. I'd be willing to try another session with the two of you...
Mr. Michel: No, forget it. I've decided: she gets an abortion, and she's out. That way she can't sue me for child support. I don't think I can trust her.
Dr. Balis: Why do you think you can't trust Lenore?
Mr. Michel: She's so quiet, so creepy. When I talk to her, she just looks at me for a long time and doesn't say anything. And some weird shit has been happening lately.
Dr. Balis: Such as?
Mr. Michel: A couple of times, I heard a noise when I was on the phone, sort of like a clicking sound. I think there's a tap on our line.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Mr. Michel: And there's this van parked across the street, a dry cleaning company's van. It's parked there every day, like they're doing surveillance.
Dr. Balis: I think you might be overreacting a little.
Mr. Michel: Have you forgotten what I do? Shit, I shouldn't even be telling you this. You might be in with the Feds.
Dr. Balis: Everything you say here is confidential.
Mr. Michel: Yeah, of course you're going to say that. Even mom is getting weird on me.
Dr. Balis: How so?
Mr. Michel: I went to Pacifica to visit her, to tell her about getting married. I thought she'd be happy, but she had this look on her face like she was mad. When I asked her if she had any stuff for me to sell or if she could hook me up with someone so I could make some fast cash, she said no real quick. She didn't even explain why. Right after that, mom suddenly decided she had to go shopping, and we needed to leave.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Mr. Michel: I hung out in Pacifica for a while. It's a nice little town near the beach, but it was so foggy. It got cold, and the heater in my car doesn't work. And Lenore was looking like she was ready to blow her fucking head off. I wish she had. That bitch is nothing but trouble.
Dr. Balis: Hmm. Is there a way you can recoup your gambling losses?
Mr. Michel: Huh? Oh, you mean make some fast money. Sure, no problem. I have connections; I know a lot of people. If I didn't have to worry all the time about Lenore, I could concentrate...she's like a dark cloud, a big old ball and chain. I can't stop thinking about her. And the more I think about her, the madder I get. Well, there's no use talking about it. It just pisses me off.
Dr. Balis: Sometimes it's helpful to talk about things that bother you...
Mr. Michel: I don't need to talk any more. I need to fucking do something. I can't think straight with her in the house.
Dr. Balis: What is it that you want to do?
Mr. Michel: I need to get a deal together, haven't you been listening, Doc? I need to find something to sell. That's what I should be doing right now. I have plenty of connections, I have favors to call in. I shouldn't be talking to you, I should be on the phone.
Dr. Balis: Herb, we still have some time left...
Mr. Michel: See you later, Doc.
Dr. Balis: Herb?
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