Transcript of Conversation at the Emergency Room of the California Pacific Medical Center between Charles Balis, M.D., Mr. Hal Mainor, and Mr. Tom Bows, Wednesday, February 26, 1997 at 5:15 pm.

Dr. Balis: Hello Hal.
Mr. Mainor: Dr. Balis? Wow, what a coincidence running into you!
Dr. Balis: What did you do to yourself?
Mr. Mainor: Oh, it looks like I broke my leg.
Dr. Balis: And your face. Did you get into a fight?
Mr. Mainor: No, I had a little accident.
Dr. Balis: Oh?
Mr. Mainor: I'd prefer not to talk about it, if you don't mind.
Dr. Balis: I understand. How are things at home?
Mr. Mainor: Uh, fine thank you.
Dr. Balis: The wife?
Mr. Mainor: Oh, she's fine.
Dr. Balis: Kids?
Mr. Mainor: They're all fine. Thanks Doctor. I'm not keeping you, am I?
Dr. Balis: No, not at all Hal. I'm happy to see you. It's been a long time.
Mr. Mainor: Yes, it has.
Dr. Balis: Been busy?
Mr. Mainor: Oh yes.
Dr. Balis: Doing what?
Mr. Mainor: This and that. Uh Doctor, someone is meeting me here.
Dr. Balis: Using the hospital as a social venue?
Mr. Mainor: Well, it's not exactly like that.
Dr. Balis: I wanted to ask you if you managed to speak with Ms. Bows?
Mr. Mainor: No I haven't. I really can't talk about this right now. I am in pain you know. I just can't sit here making polite conversation with you.
Dr. Balis: Oh I'm terribly sorry Hal. How rude of me.
Mr. Bows: Dr. Balis?
Dr. Balis: Oh Mr. Bows. How nice to see you here.
Mr. Mainor: You know him?
Dr. Balis: Sure.
Mr. Bows: How you feeling Hal?
Mr. Mainor: Oh, I'm doing great Tom. Just great. Could everyone go away now? I'd really like to be alone now.
Mr. Bows: What would you like me to do about your car, Hal? Should I have it towed to your house? With that leg, I don't think you're going to be driving it anytime soon.
Dr. Balis: Car?
Mr. Mainor: It's nothing.
Mr. Bows: Yes. Hal had a little accident over at our house.
Mr. Mainor: Oh God.
Dr. Balis: An accident at the Bows house?
Mr. Bows: Hal, are you going to be all right? I'll call your wife and make arrangements with her about the car.
Mr. Mainor: No! I'm fine. Really. Thank you for everything you've done Tom. You've done more than enough already.
Mr. Bows: But it'll get a ticket. There's street cleaning on that side of the street on Thursday.
Mr. Mainor: Really, don't worry about it.
Mr. Bows: As you wish. Do you want me to wait and give you a lift home?
Mr. Mainor: Really Tom. I'll call a taxi, thanks.
Mr. Bows: Okay. Well, I'm going to get back to Sylvia then. It was good to meet you, Hal. Good luck. And stay off those ladders, okay?
Mr. Mainor: Sure. Sure. Ha Ha. Bye.
Mr. Bows: And goodbye Doctor.
Dr. Balis: And to you. Goodbye.
Mr. Mainor: Oh Jesus.
Dr. Balis: You sure you don't want to talk about this?
Mr. Mainor: Oh shit. You must have figured it out anyway.
Dr. Balis: You fell off a ladder at the Bows place?
Mr. Mainor: Yeah, well...
Dr. Balis: You decided to play a balcony scene with Sylvia?
Mr. Mainor: Um. I was trying to be romantic. Women love that. But it's a long story.
Dr. Balis: I've got nothing but time.
Mr. Mainor: Great. Look, you trying to get some free entertainment? I'm on morphine and God knows what else. Right now, I've got to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife.
Dr. Balis: You haven't told her about Sylvia yet?
Mr. Mainor: I'm not totally crazy Doctor. I was testing the waters so to speak.
Dr. Balis: And?
Mr. Mainor: Piranhas.
Dr. Balis: Excuse me?
Mr. Mainor: There are piranhas in the water. I was lying there in a crumpled heap in her flower bed and that cold-hearted bitch was up there cackling with laughter. She really couldn't supress her glee. I couldn't believe it. It was like I was some clown in the circus delighting her with my antics! I put my heart into her hand and she giggled with pleasure as she squeezed it for all she was worth.
Dr. Balis: You told me that you wanted to get involved with Sylvia to advance your writing career.
Mr. Mainor: Well, that may have been part of it, but she didn't know that.
Dr. Balis: She hurt your feelings?
Mr. Mainor: Well, let's just say that it didn't go quite as I pictured it.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Mr. Mainor: Look Doctor. I'll call you later. Let me figure out what I'm going to do now by myself, okay?
Dr. Balis: Sure Hal. I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you the way you'd hoped.
Mr. Mainor: Yeah, what a surprise, right Doctor?
Dr. Balis: I'll look forward to your call.
Mr. Mainor: Sure. Bye now.
Dr. Balis: Hope you feel better. Bye Hal.
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