Transcript of 14th Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Ms. Sarah Wright, Monday, January 20, 1997 at 2:00 pm.

Dr. Balis: Good afternoon Sarah.
Ms. Wright: Hello Doctor. How are you?
Dr. Balis: Very well thanks. How are you feeling?
Ms. Wright: Still kind of down.
Dr. Balis: Are you taking the Zoloft I prescribed?
Ms. Wright: Yes, every morning.
Dr. Balis: It may take a few weeks for you to feel any difference, but stick with it; I think you'll notice a great improvement.
Ms. Wright: I will. The waiting gets me down. Everything gets me down. Some days it's all I can do to get myself out of bed and dressed. Other days I feel fine.
Dr. Balis: Have they found a replacement for you at work yet?
Ms. Wright: No, but they've interviewed several people so I think it will be soon.
Dr. Balis: And are you still anxious to be finished with your job?
Ms. Wright: Yes, even more so after last week.
Dr. Balis: Did something happen?
Ms. Wright: No, it's just the regular stuff. I'm still working on a lot of end of the year shit...balancing all our accounts, that sort of thing. It's a pain in the ass any time, but right now it seems especially draining. Everyone at work keeps telling me how tired I look.
Dr. Balis: Being tired often comes with depression, Sarah.
Ms. Wright: I know, but knowing doesn't help. Sometimes I feel like I'm wading in wet cement. Every motion, every thought takes so much energy.
Dr. Balis: I understand what you're going through, but trust me, it will get better.
Ms. Wright: I know.
Dr. Balis: How are your kids? Is everyone over the flu?
Ms. Wright: Everyone is well. Knock on wood! They're off from school today. Martin Luther King Day. Saturday was Jeff's birthday. The kids made him a cake and we went shopping Saturday morning for gifts. Robby came down and had dinner with us that night. Jeff seemed uncomfortable with them there, but after dinner they left together. Robby told me yesterday that Jeff took him to the coffee shop they used to meet at. Apparently I'm not the only one who has noticed a change in Jeff's attitude toward Robby.
Dr. Balis: Oh? Did Robby say something to you about it?
Ms. Wright: Yes, he told me that when they were at the coffee shop he came right out and asked Jeff if he was seeing someone else.
Dr. Balis: And is he?
Ms. Wright: He told Robby he isn't, but I have to wonder.
Dr. Balis: Did Robby believe him?
Ms. Wright: He wants to believe him, but I think he's starting to give up, too. He knows that he and Jeff will never have the relationship they once had, and he doesn't want Jeff tied to him, but it pains him to think Jeff is seeing someone else.
Dr. Balis: And how does that make you feel, Sarah?
Ms. Wright: Like I care. I don't give a shit what the man does. I don't want him to hurt Robby, but the way I see it, if he's screwing around with someone else...well, never mind.
Dr. Balis: What? What were you going to say?
Ms. Wright: If Jeff fools around and gets AIDS too, big loss.
Dr. Balis: Sarah, you don't really mean that, do you?
Ms. Wright: Yes I do. Well, it would hurt the children, and I wouldn't want them to suffer, but other than that, I'd rather he was dying of AIDS instead of Robby.
Dr. Balis: Life is never dished out according to our grievances.
Ms. Wright: Ain't that the truth! I want so much to be with Robby, to comfort and protect him, put my arms around him, make things better for him. He hasn't always deserved my love and sympathy, but he has it regardless.
Dr. Balis: I hope that you and Robby will be able to talk and work out some of the emotions you both have before it's too late.
Ms. Wright: Me too. Sometimes I lay awake at night and think about all the things I want to tell him and ask him. I don't know how much time we have left, but I want to make the most of it, for both of us. Last night when we talked, and he told me about Jeff taking him to the coffee shop, I felt really close to him, yet I didn't have the nerve to bring up anything I wanted to tell him. He was hurting so much as it was because he feels Jeff slipping away. I just wanted to be there for him. A friend. A shoulder to cry on. My turn will come, I know it will. All my questions will be answered. I'm just not very patient. I'm very tired, Dr. B. Would you mind if we cut our session short today?
Dr. Balis: No Sarah, that's fine. Can we meet again next week?
Ms. Wright: I don't know. Can I call you later this week and set something up?
Dr. Balis: Sure, if that's what you want. I'll wait to hear from you.
Ms. Wright: Thanks. I'll call in a few days. Goodbye.
Dr. Balis: Goodbye Sarah. Take care of yourself.
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