Transcript of 68th Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Ms. Anna Green, Thursday, February 5, 1998 at 4 pm.

Dr. Balis: Hello, Anna. Please come in. It's been a long time. How have you been?
Ms. Green: Hello, Doctor Balis. I would suggest keeping your distance from me for today.
Dr. Balis: Why? Are you still ill?
Ms. Green: I'm better. But I still feel pretty shitty. I have a cough and a slight fever. So don't take any chances.
Dr. Balis: Thank you for the warning. I didn't realize that you were so sick. How long have you had this thing?
Ms. Green: It's over a week now. But it's much, much better. And actually, I'm in no hurry, you know what I mean?
Dr. Balis: No, I'm not sure I do. Do you want to be sick?
Ms. Green: It got Kathy out of the house.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Ms. Green: She was so freaked out about her baby. She made a big fuss. Martin got all upset. But I wasn't going to go anywhere with a 104 fever. She doesn't like it, she gets to go. It's only fair.
Dr. Balis: So Kathy is not living with you anymore?
Ms. Green: I wish. No, she's only out until I get better. So no hurry, right?
Dr. Balis: Hmm. And where is Martin?
Ms. Green: He's between a rock and a hard place, metaphorically speaking.
Dr. Balis: Is he living with you at the apartment?
Ms. Green: He's being a good boy and taking care of the one he loves. Me, of course.
Dr. Balis: And where's Kathy?
Ms. Green: In Sacramento with her aunt.
Dr. Balis: What about the store?
Ms. Green: Martin is covering for her. Poor boy, he works so hard. That's what you have to do when you fuck up. Or should it be "fucked over?"
Dr. Balis: You sound bitter.
Ms. Green: I guess I am. I've just had it, Doctor. I'm very tired.
Dr. Balis: Have you made any plans...
Ms. Green: I don't really know anymore, Doctor. I care about Martin, I really do. And I do love him. But I'm stuck watching him make one horrible mistake after another.
Dr. Balis: What do you mean?
Ms. Green: He just can't let go. Kathy has total control over him. She's beginning to show already, and she dresses to accentuate her condition. She's being moody and abusive, but Martin attends to her like he was her personal slave.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: It's like she managed to carry his S&M tendencies over into our everyday life. It's very painful to watch. This last week and a half has been a godsend.
Dr. Balis: You mean while you were sick?
Ms. Green: I know it sounds strange. I was very ill. But with Kathy gone, I could feel this enormous pressure lifted. Martin gets up very early and leaves for the office, then from there he goes straight to the store and comes home around midnight. But even with this insane schedule and taking care of me, he has been happier than he has been for the last two months. And we have a chance to talk openly.
Dr. Balis: What do you talk about?
Ms. Green: We're trying to figure out what will happen. I feel really guilty about this, Doctor, but sometimes I just feel like getting out of this whole mess. I feel like I can't take it anymore. But then I look at Martin and I feel guilty.
Dr. Balis: Why would you feel guilty?
Ms. Green: If I left now, it would be the end for Martin. He could never get out. He doesn't love her. I even believe that he might hate her at this point. But he could never leave his child, and she would do everything in her power to have control over this baby. This baby is her ticket to a good life. You know, she started cutting out articles on child abuse and giving them to Martin? Or sometimes, she'd just bring up the topic of child mutilation and talk about it with him. And while she doesn't actually say it, she means it as a threat: "See Martin, all these women were abandoned by the father of their children to raise the kids on their own." She has taken to describing gruesome details about how she was abused as a child lately. Martin can barely stand this. He would sacrifice his life to save his child from such a fate. So while I stay, there's still a glimmer of hope that we can somehow manage to take his child away from her and raise it as our own. But if I'm gone...
Dr. Balis: I don't...
Ms. Green: I know what you want to say, Doctor. Martin is a big boy; he has to live his own life. But I love him. I would hate to live my life knowing that he's miserable. His life is bad enough as it is now. You know everyone at work knows about Kathy?
Dr. Balis: Really?
Ms. Green: Remember Caren and Greg?
Dr. Balis: Sure. They are married now, right?
Ms. Green: Yeah. It was a nice wedding. In any case, we sort of drifted apart after Martin came into the picture. They never understood my willingness to do "those things."
Dr. Balis: Those things?
Ms. Green: They were totally freaked by my experiment with Gray--the whip master?
Dr. Balis: I remember.
Ms. Green: I've told them about the baby, and they've been really supportive. Although their support stops with me and doesn't extend onto Martin. They think Martin is a real jerk and bad news for me. They told everyone at SII that Martin, my boyfriend and fiancée, got his houseguest pregnant.
Dr. Balis: Ugly.
Ms. Green: Oh, it's been really bad. Well, for me it's been sort of nice. People are being very supportive and sympathetic. But Martin is in deep shit. He's new and doesn't have much history with SII except that he's in the "futures" department, and that is not very popular.
Dr. Balis: Why not?
Ms. Green: Oh, don't get me wrong, I think Martin is useful. And that department comes up with a few good ideas each year. But we've been doing software design for years without them.
Dr. Balis: I see. There's some resentment there.
Ms. Green: Just a bit. So Martin is having to deal with know.
Dr. Balis: So you don't mind that people at work know what's going on with Martin and Kathy?
Ms. Green: The way Caren and Greg presented the story, I'm the innocent party. So it's not very bad for me, however it's going to work out.
Dr. Balis: Hmm. And how have your parents been coping with this whole situation?
Ms. Green: My mother is ready to kidnap me, I think, and take me home. But my dad is giving me the freedom to work things out. Obviously, he's not too happy with Martin. And while he doesn't believe Martin was "raped" by Kathy, he does believe that she might have created the situation.
Dr. Balis: Situation?
Ms. Green: I told my dad that while Kathy lived with us, I wanted to experiment with...well, with things. He understood, I think. And I believe he is willing to make some concessions if Martin handles the situation well.
Dr. Balis: What does that mean?
Ms. Green: I don't know exactly. But it has something to do with honor.
Dr. Balis: Hmm. When is Kathy coming back?
Ms. Green: I've been sending her articles on the horrors of Sydney Flu via e-mail. So hopefully, not for a while.
Dr. Balis: But eventually, she'll be back. What are you planning to do then?
Ms. Green: I don't know. I don't want to give up just yet. And I don't want to live the rest of my life wondering if I made the wrong decision and didn't fight hard enough. Doesn't love mean sacrificing and compromising? I can't just let go of Martin. If I do, he'll be lost for the rest of his life. And he doesn't deserve that. I'm partially responsible for him being in this situation...
Dr. Balis: Anna, I have to disagree with you. You were the one who was maneuvered and manipulated into a relationship which included Kathy. If it was up to you...
Ms. Green: Perhaps, but I did let it happen and deserve some blame for that. Look, Doctor, Kathy is going to get her amnio in a few weeks, we'll see what happens then.
Dr. Balis: All right. So I'll see you next week as usual?
Ms. Green: Yes. I plan to be here. I need someone to keep me grounded.
Dr. Balis: Well, I'm here for you.
Ms. Green: I'll see you next week, Doctor.
Dr. Balis: Goodbye, Anna.
Ms. Green: And Doctor?
Dr. Balis: Yes?
Ms. Green: You should have taken me up on my offer. I wouldn't be in this situation today if you did.
Dr. Balis: Hmm?
Ms. Green: Good night, Doctor.
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