Transcript of 90th Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Ms. Anna Green, Thursday, August 13, 1998 at 4:00 pm.

Ms. Green: Hello, Doctor Balis.
Dr. Balis: Hello, Anna. Please come in. Hmm.
Ms. Green: What is it?
Dr. Balis: You don't look well. Are you ill?
Ms. Green: No. But I always tend to look worse just before my period.
Dr. Balis: I haven't particularly noticed that. You've been...
Ms. Green: Yes. God, everyone is asking me whether I'm eating and sleeping well. I'm fine. I'm just tired. And unfortunately, I'm more tired emotionally than physically.
Dr. Balis: So you're not sleeping well.
Ms. Green: Not exactly. I'm having problems falling asleep. But once I finally do, I get a few good hours. I've even been late for work a few times this week--I just couldn't get up in the morning.
Dr. Balis: When do you actually go to bed?
Ms. Green: Not very late. I tend to be in bed by eleven-thirty or so.
Dr. Balis: When do you fall asleep?
Ms. Green: Around four.
Dr. Balis: Have you been taking Melatonin?
Ms. Green: It doesn't seem to help much anymore.
Dr. Balis: I see. Do you get anxious as you try to fall asleep?
Ms. Green: I used to, but not any more. I just think, and think, and think.
Dr. Balis: What are you thinking about?
Ms. Green: About my life, mostly. Things have really gotten out of my control, haven't they?
Dr. Balis: You do have a few problems.
Ms. Green: Yeah. But it won't be that much longer.
Dr. Balis: What do you mean?
Ms. Green: I think they got the guy.
Dr. Balis: Kathy's attacker?
Ms. Green: I was asked to do a line-up...
Dr. Balis: But you never saw the guy, right?
Ms. Green: Well, I thought I saw two of the guys from the line-up before at one of the parties.
Dr. Balis: S&M parties?
Ms. Green: I was sure about one, and I'm pretty sure about the other. But it's hard--I saw them under very different circumstances.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: And I guess the police didn't really have enough open-butt pants to dress the entire line-up of suspects.
Dr. Balis: Did you ask?
Ms. Green: I told them that I thought I remembered one of the guys might have had a spider tattoo on his butt.
Dr. Balis: Did they check?
Ms. Green: They thanked me for the information, but they are very closed-mouthed about everything.
Dr. Balis: I'm surprised you were able to recognize two guys from the line-up.
Ms. Green: Me too. I thought that they usually have only one real suspect and the rest are just undercover police officers.
Dr. Balis: Hmm. Perhaps you saw the officers at the party.
Ms. Green: That's what I told my dad. He agreed that it was strange. But they might have been spying on this S&M group for quite some time. Who knows? My dad is very resourceful, though.
Dr. Balis: Really?
Ms. Green: He's been pulling strings all over the place. I didn't even know he had such an impressive list of connections.
Dr. Balis: What was he able to find out?
Ms. Green: He said that they believe the person who attacked Kathy was the father of the boy who committed suicide. Remember him?
Dr. Balis: The guy who was very depressed...
Ms. Green: Obviously he was depressed--he committed suicide, for god's sake. I think that's qualifies him as depressed.
Dr. Balis: I meant...
Ms. Green: I know. It's just sad. This guy loses his son and tries to go after the boy's dominatrix. Maybe if he paid more attention to his son in the first place, he would still be around today. But instead, he was looking for revenge after the fact. The poor mother will lose both her son and her husband. Why didn't he think of that? How is she supposed to deal with such loss?
Dr. Balis: Hmm. Has Kathy identified this man?
Ms. Green: I haven't seen Kathy in forever. How should I know? My dad said that they found his fingerprints in my house. That's real creepy.
Dr. Balis: But you never saw him?
Ms. Green: I don't think so. I only saw a few of Kathy's customers. We had a rule that she couldn't practice her business at the house.
Dr. Balis: I'm not sure that rule meant much to Kathy.
Ms. Green: Well, there's not much I can do about any of it now, is there? God, the professor has some homecoming in front of him. Did I tell you that they have confiscated--excuse me, "taken as evidence"--thousands of dollars worth of his S&M equipment?
Dr. Balis: I didn't realize they took that much.
Ms. Green: The dungeon is basically stripped, and their large collection of floggers from around the world is gone. They used to travel and pick up cultural items they found attractive to add to their collection. They had space-age stuff--floggers made out of the latest technology alloys and plastics--and ritualistic whips and canes carved out of exotic woods and adorned with brass and silver ornaments. They were very pretty. There are still a few pieces left on the living room walls. The police didn't think they were used--they were covered with dust and cobwebs. But I'll bet the professor tested every single one of his precious artifacts.
Dr. Balis: When are they coming back?
Ms. Green: When my dad contacted them and told them about the investigation, they decided to prolong their trip for a few months. They don't want to come back and have to deal with the police, and the investigation, and the trial, and whatever. They'd just rather wait it out.
Dr. Balis: Hmm. I guess that's a reasonable strategy under the circumstances.
Ms. Green: I can't imagine them actively pursuing their claims for the S&M accouterments. They are too much in the closet for that. It makes my dad happy.
Dr. Balis: Why?
Ms. Green: When he learned how much all of that stuff was worth--just one flogger can set a user back several hundred dollars--he thought it was an appropriate punishment for getting his daughter into so much trouble.
Dr. Balis: Your dad is blaming his friends for your current situation?
Ms. Green: I know it's unreasonable, but it's sweet. I like it. I like being close to my dad again.
Dr. Balis: I think you're doing too much lying to consider...
Ms. Green: I don't care. I get enough shit all around, I want my dad to think that I'm a good and noble person.
Dr. Balis: Nothing that happened to you makes you into a bad person, Anna. You don't think of yourself as bad, do you?
Ms. Green: There are moments. All my friends are married or are in steady relationships. They are happy to share their lives with someone special. They feel special. But when I feel special, it's because I'm a freak.
Dr. Balis: Why do you think of yourself as a freak?
Ms. Green: The last year and a half doesn't particularly put me into a mainstream category, unless you consider the lunatics from Jerry Springer's show normal.
Dr. Balis: Well...
Ms. Green: I want what my friends have--I want a normal, stable relationship based on love and not on some abnormal perversion. I want to be close to someone. There's so much going on in my life right now, and I can't share any of it. I talk to you about some things. I talk to my dad about others. I tell fairy tales to my office mates. But I'm not intimate enough with anyone to tell all the things I feel.
Dr. Balis: We can talk about your feelings here...
Ms. Green: I know. But it's not the same as talking to someone in my bed at night. You refuse to hold me tight and make everything better.
Dr. Balis: Anna...
Ms. Green: I know. But do you know how long it's been since someone made love to me? It's been almost seven months now, Doctor. Am I really so unpleasant? Am I really such an undeserving person?
Dr. Balis: Anna, you...
Ms. Green: I know you accept me for what I am...well, as much as you really know me.
Dr. Balis: I think I know you pretty well...
Ms. Green: Not in the way I want you to, Doctor. But skip it--I know when I'm being rejected, you don't have to do it over and over again.
Dr. Balis: I'm not rejecting you, Anna.
Ms. Green: I want someone to make love to me, Doctor. And I want to love, to make love, to...
Dr. Balis: Here are some tissues.
Ms. Green: Thank you. God, I guess I'm really more tired than I thought. I'm sorry, Doctor.
Dr. Balis: It's all right, Anna. You've been having a very rough time lately.
Ms. Green: Yeah.
Dr. Balis: And you definitely need to get some rest. Do you want me to prescribe some sleeping aids for you?
Ms. Green: No. Those things scare me. I think I'll just go to the movies or something. Do you know anything good playing?
Dr. Balis: I'm not sure.
Ms. Green: We can check it out together?
Dr. Balis: Anna...
Ms. Green: Have a nice weekend, Charles. I'll see you next week.
Dr. Balis: Goodbye, Anna. Take care.
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