Date: Mon, 14 Apr 1997 11:54:02 -0800 (PDT)
To: Balis@SIIComputers.com (Charles Balis, M.D.)
Subject: Re: Hello from Peter
>Date: Fri, 11 Apr 1997 9:31:06 -0800 (PDT)
>From: Balis@SIIComputers.com (Charles Balis, M.D.)
>Subject: Re: Hello from Peter
>Peter, it's very good to hear from you.
i'm so glad you found time to write back- thanks.
>But this form of communication is really unsuitable for the type of work that we have to do together.
this is really the best i can do right now.
>I must urge you to find a way to make it to our sessions together.
i miss them a lot- more than you'll ever know.
>To accommodate you, I'm willing to meet with you early in the morning or late at night. We don't even have to meet at my office. But meet we must.
Early in the morning and late at night are both out of the question. Serena is there every morning, and there's a lot of things i have to do for Her then. And the nights are dedicated to the Work. There's no way i could not show up; She'd know what i was doing and it wouldn't be pretty...
>Your situation sounds intolerable, made all the more dangerous by Serena.
Please don't say that!
>I'm starting to believe that she is actively hostile to your best interests, trying to convince you that you need her by creating a series of vicious past lives that are wholly of her own making.
Don't you see that by telling me this, you are doing just what She said you would, tearing down everything i've been working so hard to build? i just can't deal with negative energy right now; my state is too precarious, balancing over Bottomless Pits like i am. Please stop. What i need is some support right now.
>While it is almost futile for me to suggest such a thing, perhaps you'd tape some of your nocturnal exclamations and allow the ancient "Akkadian and Aramaic" to be examined by language experts. I know one at the University of California at Berkeley who I'm sure would be happy to examine any recording purporting to be of an ancient language.
How do these "experts" know how these Ancient languages sounded when spoken rapidly and fluently? i studied Spanish from books, but i don't have a clue when i hear it on the bus. How much more difficult to recognize a language that nobody's heard for 1000's of years? Anyway, there's no way She would tape me; i already asked her to and she said i had to let these Prophecies flow back into the River of Time if i wanted release from them.
>I'm not suggesting this in an attempt to challenge your beliefs, which I'd never want to do.
>Rather, I'm trying to shake your faith in Serena who has ensnared you body and soul.
This is just what she said you were trying to do. Maybe i am her slave, but isn't it right that i, who have been such a brute for so many eons, have my turn underfoot? What does it really matter, anyway- aren't these just different parts in the Dance?
>Whatever Serena's other talents, I'm sure she is not fluent in the variety of languages that she claims you are speaking.
You have no idea of Her Powers, or the types of Entities She can channel.
>Surely, the expostulations from your past lives are worthy of accurate translation by experts.
If only i could write in Cunieform, then maybe you'd believe me...
>In your letter, you suggest there is some ultimate price which she demands but which you aren't willing to give. Could you let me know what you mean?
Didn't you even understand that? She wants me to Love Her; like Romantic Love. i try to pretend, just to make Her happy, but She knows i'm faking it, just like i have to pretend to cum when i'm satisfying her...
>And I am very concerned about the advancement of your epileptic condition. What you view as advancement into your abilities to achieve trance states, I view as an increase in your brain's readiness to slip into a seizure.
Why do you have to put such an ugly medical name on something so Beautiful? Does it make it easier to throw mud on everything Spiritual? Maybe i am falling apart- God knows these headaches are terrible- but it's only a body thing, right? The worse it gets for the body, the better for the Soul. Or don't you think there's anything to be learned from Suffering either?
>Please come back to therapy, Peter.
i wish i could, really i do. But even this makes me feel like i've looked out the window of my cell...