Transcript of conversation between Charles Balis, M.D., Ms. Sylvia Bows, and Mr. Tom Bows, Friday, March 14, 1997 at 6:15 pm at the California Pacific Medical Center.

Dr. Balis: Hello, Sylvia. How are you feeling?
Ms. Bows: Hello, Doctor. I feel just horrible. I have to keep reminding myself that this will all be over soon or I'll lose my mind.
Dr. Balis: Well, you sound much better. Last time you barely said a few words to me.
Ms. Bows: The end is in sight. And Tom is here.
Dr. Balis: He is here in the hospital?
Ms. Bows: Yes. He went out to get some food, but he should be back shortly.
Dr. Balis: I'm very glad to hear that. Are you patching things up?
Ms. Bows: I'm not really clear on exactly where we stand right now. But I'm so happy that he wants to be here with me. And it's not just for the boys. It's for me too. He cares for me.
Dr. Balis: When did he come?
Ms. Bows: He showed up Tuesday afternoon. I was asleep and my dad was here. He sat next to the bed and just held my hand. When I woke up, he was still sitting next to me. My dad had apparently gone home. Tom didn't realize right away that I was up. I was able to watch his face as he stared at the baby monitor readouts. He had tears in his eyes.
Dr. Balis: Did you talk about what's going to happen next?
Ms. Bows: No. I want to give him time to think. I also want him to spend this time with me--to see and feel me next to him. I want him to realize how much I care about him.
Dr. Balis: Did you tell him that? Did you tell him that you love him?
Ms. Bows: Words don't mean much. There were a lot of things said between us. A lot of things that weren't true. I want him to feel and experience the bond between us. I think that is more powerful than anything that I might say.
Dr. Balis: Experiencing the closeness--the bond--is important. But you should also try to tell Tom how you feel about him. I don't know if you noticed, but I certainly have. You never actually say the words, "I love Tom." Even now you managed to avoid it.
Ms. Bows: Those are very scary words, Doctor. Once said, there is no going back. If I say that out loud and Tom leaves, I think I'd die. Maybe not physically, but I would cease to exist as a person.
Dr. Balis: Loving someone is a risk. But you have to be willing to make that risk, if you want Tom to do the same. You can't just wait for Tom to tell you that you are in love with each other. If you really want him, take the first step.
Ms. Bows: Oh, here is Tom.
Dr. Balis: Hello, Tom. I'm glad to see you here.
Mr. Bows: Hello, Doctor Balis. If you don't mind, I've brought some food that needs to be eaten right away. The stuff that they feed her here is completely inedible. And Sylvia needs all the strength that she can master. She has a lot of work ahead of her.
Dr. Balis: No problem. I just stopped by to see how she was doing. Do you know when Doctor Malleson is planning to allow labor?
Mr. Bows: I think they'll take her off the Magnesium tonight. Hopefully she'll be able to get a good night's sleep before the boys arrive.
Dr. Balis: I didn't realize that it was going to be so soon.
Mr. Bows: The corticosteroid therapy only works short term. It's been three and a half days since the first shot. I think Doctor Malleson hopes that Sylvia will deliver some time tomorrow or early Sunday.
Dr. Balis: How are the boys doing?
Mr. Bows: They look okay. They don't seem to be under a lot of stress. And there is no sign of infection.
Dr. Balis: Good. Well if you don't mind, I would like to come and visit early next week. I would love to actually meet the boys after all this time.
Mr. Bows: Sure. I think unfortunately we will be in the hospital for a few weeks--the little one might still be too small to go home right away.
Dr. Balis: I understand. Did you come up with names yet?
Ms. Bows: We haven't really talked about it yet.
Mr. Bows: I would like one boy to be named after my grandfather--Grant.
Ms. Bows: That's a good name.
Mr. Bows: But we'll see after we actually meet the boys.
Dr. Balis: Good. Are you all ready at home?
Mr. Bows: I have everything taken care of, Doctor.
Dr. Balis: Good. Then I'll see all of you next week.
Ms. Bows: Goodbye, Doctor. Thank you for coming.
Dr. Balis: Goodbye, Sylvia. Good luck. Goodbye, Tom. I am really very happy to see you.
Mr. Bows: Goodbye, Doctor Balis.
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Button to Dr. Balis' Notes Doctor Balis' Notes on this Conversation

Button to Sylvia Bows' Transcripts Transcripts of Sylvia Bows' Therapy Sessions
Button to Sylvia Bows' Patient File Sylvia Bows' Patient File

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