Transcript of 24th Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Ms. Anna Green, Thursday, December 19, 1996 at 4 pm.

Ms. Green: Doctor?
Dr. Balis: Hello Anna. Please come in and sit down. We have to have a serious talk.
Ms. Green: I know.
Dr. Balis: Good. What happened last time in this office can never happen again. Do you understand?
Ms. Green: Yes Doctor.
Dr. Balis: This is your last warning Anna. If you try to manipulate me again, I will have to discontinue our relationship. Is that clear?
Ms. Green: You really think I'm a terrible person, don't you?
Dr. Balis: I didn't say that. But what you did last time was outrageous. It will not happen again.
Ms. Green: You hate me.
Dr. Balis: I don't hate you. But I hate being manipulated.
Ms. Green: I just wanted...I just wanted...
Dr. Balis: Please don't cry Anna. I know what you wanted. But it's not meant to be. If our relationship is to continue, we'll have to find a way to...
Ms. Green: I just wanted you to know how much you meant to me. I've never ever done anything like that before. I don't even know how I got the nerve to do it in the first place. It was as if I was in a daze. I knew what was happening but it was as if I was watching the whole thing on TV or something. I could watch but I couldn't control the action.
Dr. Balis: Couldn't?
Ms. Green: It was as if there were two of me--one was my normal self. That's the one who was doing all the watching. And the other was this...this exhibitionist. I mean I know it was all me. But at the same time it wasn't. My fingers were unbuttoning my blouse and taking off my jeans but I had no control over them. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights; I knew the car was coming and it was going to hit me, but I couldn't move out of its way. And then I was naked and you were looking at me. Part of me just wanted to run and hide and die of embarrassment. But there was also this high--I felt exuberant. My heart was beating so fast I thought it might explode out my chest. I felt dizzy and strange. And I felt the most unbelievable desire. It was as if I was on fire. I wanted you so much that it hurt. I don't even remember what I was saying to you Doctor. I was just talking to keep myself from...I never felt anything like this before in my life. I never knew it was possible to feel this way--a sexual high.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: Now I know how it could be. Now I know.
Dr. Balis: I'm glad it was an enlightening experience for you. But do you see that it was wrong?
Ms. Green: I know it was. I really really do. And I'm sorry for putting you through it Doctor. But I'm not sorry it happened.
Dr. Balis: You are not sorry...
Ms. Green: I thought that I would never be able to face you after what happened.
Dr. Balis: But you somehow found a way?
Ms. Green: If it was anybody else, I would run to the ends of the Earth to get away, to never have to face them...him again. But you make it easy.
Dr. Balis: I do?
Ms. Green: You make me feel like it is okay for me do be me. You see?
Dr. Balis: No. And it wasn't okay.
Ms. Green: No, that's not what I mean. You accept me just the way I am. You don't judge me. You always want to help me. You listen to me and you hear what I'm saying to you. You understand me. I knew it would be okay to come to you today.
Dr. Balis: I don't approve of what you've done.
Ms. Green: That's okay. No, it's good that you don't. I did something terrible.
Dr. Balis: So you realize that It was bad?
Ms. Green: Yes. I know I was bad. But I also know that you will try to help me. You will not use my bad behavior against me. You understand.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Ms. Green: You'll nurture me and help me develop emotionally and mature socially.
Dr. Balis: That's certainly my goal.
Ms. Green: And I know you'll help me to explore and understand my sexuality too.
Dr. Balis: I...
Ms. Green: When I was standing naked in front of you and burning with desire for you, I felt like all my senses were reaching their highest levels of sensitivity, the highest levels of intensity. I could feel your eyes on my body as if you were reaching out and touching me.
Dr. Balis: I don't...
Ms. Green: I was in ecstasy. You were five feet away from me. But I could feel you with my entire body. It was as if there was an electric field all around you and I was bathing in it. I could feel you with every cell in body. All my neurons were buzzing with excitement. I think if you actually touched me I would have lost consciousness from the perceptual overload.
Dr. Balis: Anna...
Ms. Green: I never felt this way before. I usually have trouble reaching orgasm. I told you that during sexual intercourse I fake most of them. But as I was standing here...
Dr. Balis: Anna!
Ms. Green: ...I was experiencing what must have been an orgasm. Except it was so intense and lasted so long and involved my whole body. And it didn't stop after I left here. Every time I thought back to that moment of standing right in front of you with you taking me in with your eyes, I...
Dr. Balis: Anna, please stop this.
Ms. Green: I just want you to understand just how important our last session was to me.
Dr. Balis: I get the picture.
Ms. Green: I feel like a whole different person.
Dr. Balis: In what way?
Ms. Green: I feel freer. I feel more sensual. I feel like there is an energy about me that make people look up and take notice. I feel stronger. I feel beautiful.
Dr. Balis: Those are all positive things.
Ms. Green: Oh I'm so grateful to you Doctor.
Dr. Balis: I'm glad I was able to help but...
Ms. Green: Even if I'll never be naked in front of you again...
Dr. Balis: You never will.
Ms. Green: I know. And even if I will never face you this same way again, I've experienced something that most people, I'm sure, never even heard or dreamed of. I'm very grateful to you for that Doctor.
Dr. Balis: Did you ever stop to think why you felt that way?
Ms. Green: What do you mean? I felt like that because of you. Because of how you make me feel.
Dr. Balis: Why do you think I make you feel that way?
Ms. Green: Because I love you.
Dr. Balis: Are you sure that the feeling of excitement you've described in such detail, occurred because of me and not due to the fact that you enjoyed the feeling of danger? The feeling of excitement from exposing yourself in public? You stood right in front of the window. Anyone from SII who happen to have looked out at that moment could have seen you. And there were people just outside my office door. What if someone walked in?
Ms. Green: Are you saying that I felt the excitement because of the danger? The danger of being exposed in public?
Dr. Balis: Did you?
Ms. Green: No! It was you.
Dr. Balis: Remember you described having oral sex in a stadium? You said it was exciting. Was it exciting because of Bill or because you were out in the open? Anyone could have watched you. And what about going skinny dipping in the lake after hours? You were worrying about being caught by the rangers. Remember?
Ms. Green: Yes.
Dr. Balis: Did the feeling of excitement that you felt then similar to what happened here during last time?
Ms. Green: That was different.
Dr. Balis: In what way?
Ms. Green: That was just...but here last time was different.
Dr. Balis: Are you sure? Maybe what you're experiencing is the thrill--the danger of possibly being caught.
Ms. Green: No. That's sick! Why would I want to get caught?
Dr. Balis: Not actually caught, but the possibility of getting caught.
Ms. Green: No! Definitely not. It was you Doctor.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: I thought about it all week.
Dr. Balis: And?
Ms. Green: Well, don't you think that if getting naked in public was what got me off, I would have simply go out and do it? Why would I want or need you?
Dr. Balis: Good question. Why don't we stop here for today and you'll go home and think about it over the holidays.
Ms. Green: Are you going away?
Dr. Balis: No, I'm staying in San Francisco.
Ms. Green: Oh good. For a moment you scared me Doctor.
Dr. Balis: So I'll see December 26th at 4 pm?
Ms. Green: Okay.
Dr. Balis: Have a good Christmas Anna.
Ms. Green: Thank you. You too Doctor.
Dr. Balis: Thanks. Goodbye Anna.
Ms. Green: Goodbye.
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