Transcript of 1st Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Mr. Joseph Mazurka, July 18, 1996 at 10 am.

Mr. Mazurka: Nice office. I get to lay on the couch?
Dr. Balis: Or sit on a chair, whichever you prefer.
Mr. Mazurka: No I'm laying down on the job--don't get to do that too much around here. If I'm crazy, I want the full treatment.
Dr. Balis: There's no question of "crazy " here, we're just going to try and help you with your problems--
Mr. Mazurka: Hey I'm fine, it's other people got problems. Can we talk about some of them?
Dr. Balis: Do you think it would be helpful?
Mr. Mazurka: Anybody would go crazy around this place. You ever deal with some of these dickhead engineers, pardon my French, think they know everything 'cause they know source code. Look at you like you're a bunch of ones and zeros. Fucking nerds, they rule the world now--you got this all on tape?
Dr. Balis: Just for my own records; I can assure you they go no further than this room.
Mr. Mazurka: Yeah, right. What if those pricks decide to go through your desk?
Dr. Balis: Nobody in this company has any reason to violate doctor-patient privilege. Now you were referred here by Dr. Wilson for some problem with your arm. Apparently he thought the symptoms might be brought on by stress--
Mr. Mazurka: Yeah, I know, it's all in my mind. They give me all this crap to lug around to all these useless meetings, so we can pile it in front of us and pretend we've read it. Hey all I have to do is sell shit. Nobody reads this junk, they should save some trees.
Dr. Balis: Dr Wilson couldn't find anything wrong with your arm, but he did recommend that you see me. Do you feel any particular stress about anything that's happening at work?
Mr. Mazurka: Oh no, it's just the usual thing, a bunch of geeks with chips for brains telling me how to run my life. They don't have a clue.
Dr. Balis: Would you like to tell me about your personal life?
Mr. Mazurka: My personal life, that's a laugh. Get up, go to work, come home. Bitch wife says if I want dinner I can cook it myself, rotten kids are watching TV and I gotta fight'em for the remote, go to sleep watching TV, wake up and start over again. That's my personal life. Good thing I can jerk off left-handed, or I wouldn't have a personal life at all.
Dr. Balis: Do you masturbate frequently?
Mr. Mazurka: Hey, I don't have to sit and take this shit. I'm out of here.
(Mr. Mazurka then left the therapy session, before it was scheduled to end.)
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Button to Dr. Balis' Notes Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session

Button to Joseph Mazurka's Transcripts Transcripts of Joseph Mazurka's Therapy Sessions
Button to Joseph Mazurka's File Joseph Mazurka's Patient File

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