Transcript of 100th Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Ms. Anna Green, Thursday, February 11, 1999 at 4:00 pm.

Ms. Green: Hey, Doctor!
Dr. Balis: Hello, Anna. Come in. What's all this?
Ms. Green: Let's see. This is a chocolate cake. These are balloons. And this is champagne. You do like champagne, don't you, Charles?
Dr. Balis: I...why?
Ms. Green: I know you've been gone for quite some time, but you must have remembered that this is our hundredth session together?
Dr. Balis: I was going to mention that...
Ms. Green: I want more than just a mention, I want to celebrate. Here, drink up. I don't really like champagne, but the store said that it was good. What do you think?
Dr. Balis: It's good, thank you, Anna. You seem...
Ms. Green: And here's a piece of cake...
Dr. Balis: You brought plates?
Ms. Green: I didn't think you had any lying around this office.
Dr. Balis: No, I don't...
Ms. Green: Good, isn't it? I do do cakes, and this is my favorite. They call it a "Better Than Sex" cake. What do you think?
Dr. Balis: Hmm...
Ms. Green: Personally, I think the name is an exaggeration...
Dr. Balis: Anna, you seem very frenetic. You're talking...
Ms. Green: One hundred sessions--don't you think it's a milestone in any relationship?
Dr. Balis: Well, I see you're done with your cake, shall we start this momentous session?
Ms. Green: Sure, if you insist. So, how was your trip?
Dr. Balis: It was fine, thank you.
Ms. Green: How is your dad?
Dr. Balis: He is fine...well...
Ms. Green: I'm sorry, Charles. Was it really bad?
Dr. Balis: It's just that it was...
Ms. Green: Hard?
Dr. Balis: Yes.
Ms. Green: There was a time when I thought that if anything ever happened with my dad, I would just...
Dr. Balis: Yes?
Ms. Green: Well, somehow, I didn't feel that way about my mom. And I've always felt guilty about that--my dad's death would devastate me, but my mom''s awful, isn't it, that I should feel different about my mom?
Dr. Balis: You have a stronger bond with your dad. His death would have more of an effect on you...
Ms. Green: Yeah. Is that how you feel about your dad?
Dr. Balis: I would rather talk about you, Anna.
Ms. Green: I know. But I saw your face...
Dr. Balis: I find it very hard to come to terms with what's happened to my father. But please, let's just...
Ms. Green: I think it would be harder to have my dad ill than to just have him die...well, maybe not. But I still remember when I first realized that my dad wasn't a powerful giant capable of moving the world for me anymore.
Dr. Balis: How old were you?
Ms. Green: It must have been around the time I turned fifteen. I was always a very small kid. In Junior High School, I was even shorter than the boys in my class. All the other girls were so much taller...
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: My dad made me feel safe, protected. He was always very smart. I could ask him any question, and he would always have an answer for me.
Dr. Balis: What happened when you turned fifteen?
Ms. Green: Oh, nothing. I just went through a growth spurt, and suddenly, I was taller than him. It was strange...
Dr. Balis: Did that bother you?
Ms. Green: One day I just sort of noticed being taller than him. And then I started reading the same books. And somehow, he just stopped being a giant.
Dr. Balis: How did that make you feel?
Ms. Green: I felt like I lost something...something very important.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: But my dad is still strong, smart, and very healthy.
Dr. Balis: That's good.
Ms. Green: I'm gradually watching my parents age, get weaker, get older. But it's very gradual. I have this feeling that my dad has always looked the way he does now. But when I look at the old photographs, I can see the aging. I don't like that.
Dr. Balis: Everyone gets older...
Ms. Green: For me, this process is very gradual. But for you...
Dr. Balis: Anna, I...
Ms. Green: I'm talking about me, Doctor. For me...if my dad had a stroke and lost his vitality in such a sudden manner and so completely...
Dr. Balis: I...
Ms. Green: I can see in your face just how hard that must be. Is it harder than just losing him all at once?
Dr. Balis: Do you mean death?
Ms. Green: Yes. Death just happens, and then it's done with. Then you don't have to watch your dad get...
Dr. Balis: This is a very painful subject for me right now, Anna. I would prefer that we explore your feelings on this subject some other time. Okay?
Ms. Green: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...
Dr. Balis: It's all right. Let's just move on. Tell me about your vacation. You told me that you were planning on going to Lake Tahoe with your friends. How was that?
Ms. Green: It was very nice. But I didn't go with my friends.
Dr. Balis: You went alone?
Ms. Green: No. I went with a friend.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Ms. Green: I went with Trevor.
Dr. Balis: Hmm. Do you want to tell me about that?
Ms. Green: I do.
Dr. Balis: Did you go as friends or as lovers?
Ms. Green: As both--friends and lovers. I think I really like him, Doctor.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Ms. Green: He's different somehow from the other men I've been with.
Dr. Balis: How?
Ms. Green: He is very kind to me. We have a very good time together. We had a wonderful time in Lake Tahoe...well, for a part of it.
Dr. Balis: Hmm. I'm happy to hear you had a good time.
Ms. Green: He listens to me. He tries to understand my needs even when I have a hard time understanding them myself.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: And Trevor is very different from me. This is the first time I have a boyfriend that has a job so extremely different from mine.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: There's just one little problem.
Dr. Balis: Yes? What is it?
Ms. Green: He's sort of married. Before you say anything, he is not in love with his wife, and they will be separated soon.
Dr. Balis: Soon?
Ms. Green: I didn't know that he was married when we went to Lake Tahoe. I would have told you if I did.
Dr. Balis: Trevor revealed his marital status only then?
Ms. Green: I've never even suspected he had a wife. We always went out together at such extreme times, and...
Dr. Balis: As a police officer, Trevor always had a built-in excuse.
Ms. Green: Well...
Dr. Balis: So Trevor is still living with his wife?
Ms. Green: Yes, but not for long. He said that he never expected to fall in love with me. It just happened.
Dr. Balis: Trevor told you that he was in love with you?
Ms. Green: Yes. He said that it took him a long time to realize it. He told me that he tried very hard to remain professional.
Dr. Balis: Professional?
Ms. Green: Well, I know it was a bit hard given what we were doing.
Dr. Balis: Anna...
Ms. Green: I feel if we just met in some other, normal way...
Dr. Balis: Instead of hanging out in S&M clubs?
Ms. Green: God, I dread the day we will have to explain how we met to our children.
Dr. Balis: Your children? Are you talking about marriage?
Ms. Green: I know it's a bit soon given that he still lives with his wife, but...
Dr. Balis: Anna, we have got to talk about this relationship...
Ms. Green: Look, I can bring him in for your approval. Would you like that?
Dr. Balis: We might consider a joint session some time in the future, but for now, I just want to spend the time figuring out your feelings and...
Ms. Green: I can't really tell you about my feelings.
Dr. Balis: Why not?
Ms. Green: It's all so new, so confused.
Dr. Balis: You went to Lake Tahoe in December.
Ms. Green: But I was so mad at him then.
Dr. Balis: Hmm?
Ms. Green: That's when I found out that he was married. I was so furious with him. I would never have gone if I knew.
Dr. Balis: So what have made you change your mind about Trevor?
Ms. Green: It's not exactly like I have changed it. I believe him when he says that he's in love with me.
Dr. Balis: Are you in love with him?
Ms. Green: I'm not sure. But I have very strong feelings for him.
Dr. Balis: I see. Well, as I've said, we have a lot to talk about. But now it's late, we're out of time.
Ms. Green: I know. You can keep the rest of the bottle--I don't really like it. And keep the cake--maybe you'll think of me...
Dr. Balis: That won't be a problem. I'll see you next week, Anna. Please take care.
Ms. Green: I will, thank you. I'll see you next week. And, Doctor, I'm very sorry about your dad.
Dr. Balis: Thank you. Goodbye.
Ms. Green: Goodbye.
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