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Ms. Green:
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Hey, Doctor!
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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Anna. Come in. What's all this?
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Ms. Green:
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Let's see. This is a chocolate cake. These are balloons. And this is champagne. You do like champagne, don't you, Charles?
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Dr. Balis:
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I...why?
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Ms. Green:
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I know you've been gone for quite some time, but you must have remembered that this is our hundredth session together?
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Dr. Balis:
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I was going to mention that...
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Ms. Green:
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I want more than just a mention, I want to celebrate. Here, drink up. I don't really like champagne, but the store said that it was good. What do you think?
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Dr. Balis:
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It's good, thank you, Anna. You seem...
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Ms. Green:
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And here's a piece of cake...
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Dr. Balis:
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You brought plates?
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Ms. Green:
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I didn't think you had any lying around this office.
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Dr. Balis:
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No, I don't...
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Ms. Green:
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Good, isn't it? I do do cakes, and this is my favorite. They call it a "Better Than Sex" cake. What do you think?
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm...
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Ms. Green:
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Personally, I think the name is an exaggeration...
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna, you seem very frenetic. You're talking...
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Ms. Green:
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One hundred sessions--don't you think it's a milestone in any relationship?
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, I see you're done with your cake, shall we start this momentous session?
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Ms. Green:
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Sure, if you insist. So, how was your trip?
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Dr. Balis:
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It was fine, thank you.
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Ms. Green:
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How is your dad?
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Dr. Balis:
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He is fine...well...
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Ms. Green:
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I'm sorry, Charles. Was it really bad?
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Dr. Balis:
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It's just that it was...
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Ms. Green:
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Hard?
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes.
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Ms. Green:
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There was a time when I thought that if anything ever happened with my dad, I would just...
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, somehow, I didn't feel that way about my mom. And I've always felt guilty about that--my dad's death would devastate me, but my mom's...it's awful, isn't it, that I should feel different about my mom?
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Dr. Balis:
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You have a stronger bond with your dad. His death would have more of an effect on you...
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Ms. Green:
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Yeah. Is that how you feel about your dad?
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Dr. Balis:
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I would rather talk about you, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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I know. But I saw your face...
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Dr. Balis:
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I find it very hard to come to terms with what's happened to my father. But please, let's just...
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Ms. Green:
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I think it would be harder to have my dad ill than to just have him die...well, maybe not. But I still remember when I first realized that my dad wasn't a powerful giant capable of moving the world for me anymore.
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Dr. Balis:
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How old were you?
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Ms. Green:
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It must have been around the time I turned fifteen. I was always a very small kid. In Junior High School, I was even shorter than the boys in my class. All the other girls were so much taller...
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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My dad made me feel safe, protected. He was always very smart. I could ask him any question, and he would always have an answer for me.
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Dr. Balis:
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What happened when you turned fifteen?
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Ms. Green:
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Oh, nothing. I just went through a growth spurt, and suddenly, I was taller than him. It was strange...
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Dr. Balis:
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Did that bother you?
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Ms. Green:
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One day I just sort of noticed being taller than him. And then I started reading the same books. And somehow, he just stopped being a giant.
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Dr. Balis:
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How did that make you feel?
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Ms. Green:
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I felt like I lost something...something very important.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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But my dad is still strong, smart, and very healthy.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's good.
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Ms. Green:
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I'm gradually watching my parents age, get weaker, get older. But it's very gradual. I have this feeling that my dad has always looked the way he does now. But when I look at the old photographs, I can see the aging. I don't like that.
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Dr. Balis:
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Everyone gets older...
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Ms. Green:
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For me, this process is very gradual. But for you...
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna, I...
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Ms. Green:
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I'm talking about me, Doctor. For me...if my dad had a stroke and lost his vitality in such a sudden manner and so completely...
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Dr. Balis:
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I...
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Ms. Green:
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I can see in your face just how hard that must be. Is it harder than just losing him all at once?
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you mean death?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes. Death just happens, and then it's done with. Then you don't have to watch your dad get...
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Dr. Balis:
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This is a very painful subject for me right now, Anna. I would prefer that we explore your feelings on this subject some other time. Okay?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...
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Dr. Balis:
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It's all right. Let's just move on. Tell me about your vacation. You told me that you were planning on going to Lake Tahoe with your friends. How was that?
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Ms. Green:
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It was very nice. But I didn't go with my friends.
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Dr. Balis:
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You went alone?
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Ms. Green:
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No. I went with a friend.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see.
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Ms. Green:
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I went with Trevor.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. Do you want to tell me about that?
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Ms. Green:
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I do.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you go as friends or as lovers?
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Ms. Green:
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As both--friends and lovers. I think I really like him, Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see.
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Ms. Green:
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He's different somehow from the other men I've been with.
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Dr. Balis:
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How?
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Ms. Green:
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He is very kind to me. We have a very good time together. We had a wonderful time in Lake Tahoe...well, for a part of it.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. I'm happy to hear you had a good time.
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Ms. Green:
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He listens to me. He tries to understand my needs even when I have a hard time understanding them myself.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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And Trevor is very different from me. This is the first time I have a boyfriend that has a job so extremely different from mine.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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There's just one little problem.
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes? What is it?
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Ms. Green:
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He's sort of married. Before you say anything, he is not in love with his wife, and they will be separated soon.
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Dr. Balis:
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Soon?
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Ms. Green:
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I didn't know that he was married when we went to Lake Tahoe. I would have told you if I did.
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Dr. Balis:
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Trevor revealed his marital status only then?
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Ms. Green:
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I've never even suspected he had a wife. We always went out together at such extreme times, and...
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Dr. Balis:
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As a police officer, Trevor always had a built-in excuse.
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Ms. Green:
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Well...
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Dr. Balis:
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So Trevor is still living with his wife?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes, but not for long. He said that he never expected to fall in love with me. It just happened.
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Dr. Balis:
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Trevor told you that he was in love with you?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes. He said that it took him a long time to realize it. He told me that he tried very hard to remain professional.
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Dr. Balis:
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Professional?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, I know it was a bit hard given what we were doing.
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna...
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Ms. Green:
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I feel if we just met in some other, normal way...
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Dr. Balis:
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Instead of hanging out in S&M clubs?
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Ms. Green:
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God, I dread the day we will have to explain how we met to our children.
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Dr. Balis:
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Your children? Are you talking about marriage?
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Ms. Green:
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I know it's a bit soon given that he still lives with his wife, but...
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna, we have got to talk about this relationship...
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Ms. Green:
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Look, I can bring him in for your approval. Would you like that?
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Dr. Balis:
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We might consider a joint session some time in the future, but for now, I just want to spend the time figuring out your feelings and...
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Ms. Green:
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I can't really tell you about my feelings.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why not?
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Ms. Green:
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It's all so new, so confused.
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Dr. Balis:
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You went to Lake Tahoe in December.
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Ms. Green:
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But I was so mad at him then.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm?
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Ms. Green:
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That's when I found out that he was married. I was so furious with him. I would never have gone if I knew.
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Dr. Balis:
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So what have made you change your mind about Trevor?
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Ms. Green:
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It's not exactly like I have changed it. I believe him when he says that he's in love with me.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you in love with him?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm not sure. But I have very strong feelings for him.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. Well, as I've said, we have a lot to talk about. But now it's late, we're out of time.
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Ms. Green:
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I know. You can keep the rest of the bottle--I don't really like it. And keep the cake--maybe you'll think of me...
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Dr. Balis:
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That won't be a problem. I'll see you next week, Anna. Please take care.
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Ms. Green:
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I will, thank you. I'll see you next week. And, Doctor, I'm very sorry about your dad.
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Dr. Balis:
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Thank you. Goodbye.
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Ms. Green:
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Goodbye.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Anna Green's Communications
