Transcript of 74th Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Ms. Anna Green, Thursday, March 26, 1998 at 4:00 pm.

Dr. Balis: Hello, Anna. You look a bit more rested today.
Ms. Green: Well, it's all that sleeping on the company couch in the programmer's lounge. It really agrees with me.
Dr. Balis: It seems to. So how's your life going?
Ms. Green: Hmm. I'm deciding whether I should count last week towards my four week resolution or not.
Dr. Balis: Why wouldn't you?
Ms. Green: Let's see. I basically moved into my office. I saw Martin only once the whole week, and I'm getting better at dodging telephone calls from Kathy. So what do you think? Is it two weeks or three?
Dr. Balis: I think it's two weeks and counting.
Ms. Green: That's what I thought.
Dr. Balis: You seem to be in far better spirits this week, too.
Ms. Green: All work and no play, and no time home, makes a person really appreciate life. I'm catching up with my work. Julian is off my back. We even had a few power lunches together--I mean the entire department went out of pizza at Tomasso's.
Dr. Balis: I love that place! I didn't think they were open for lunch.
Ms. Green: They are if you're having lunch at six in the afternoon.
Dr. Balis: Ah.
Ms. Green: So I'm beginning to feel that familiar feeling of being single and overworked. And you know what? I'm loving it!
Dr. Balis: Do you really feel that your relationship with Martin is over?
Ms. Green: I think so. Don't get me wrong, Doctor. When I go back home and lie in my empty bed all night, I begin to feel terrible about it. But for now, I'm too busy.
Dr. Balis: I guess that's good.
Ms. Green: Yeah. And after our product goes out of the door, we were told that we--the team that made it happen--will be sent on a company vacation, all expenses paid. Isn't that great?
Dr. Balis: I think it's very nice of SII to do that. Your project must be very valuable to the company.
Ms. Green: It is. But I can't tell you about it. If I did, then I'd have to kill you.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Ms. Green: It's a big deal. SII stands to make a lot of money on it. I now wish I'd gotten more of those stock options. I bet I could have negotiated a better deal, but I'm not good at planning for the future like that.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: What do you want to talk about, Doctor?
Dr. Balis: I'd like to continue talking about your disengagement from your relationship with Kathy and Martin.
Ms. Green: Why? Aren't you just happy that I think it's over?
Dr. Balis: Frankly, I'm a bit worried over some of the things you said last time.
Ms. Green: Well, so am I. But what can I do about them?
Dr. Balis: Are you planning to move out of the apartment?
Ms. Green: I looked over the rental section in the interactive edition of the Chronicle on the web. Everything looks very expensive. And I don't think I want to share my living quarters with anyone.
Dr. Balis: Are you saying that you don't think you can move out because you can't find an affordable place to live?
Ms. Green: Do you want a house guest for a few weeks, Doctor?
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: I thought so. I don't know how this is all going to work out yet. I didn't even tell Martin of my intentions.
Dr. Balis: Why not?
Ms. Green: I didn't think that announcing the date of an impending break up is healthy for a relationship.
Dr. Balis: Healthy?
Ms. Green: Well, I guess I'm planning on breaking up, and that in itself isn't particularly healthy. What I'm really trying to avoid is all the unpleasantness of Martin and Kathy knowing that I'm leaving. They'll have their opportunity to freak in two weeks. Until then, why spoil all their fun?
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: I wish I could figure out a way of keeping the apartment, though. It's a bit expensive for me. But given what's out there in terms of rent, I could do worse. And it's in a great area, and I wouldn't have to pack any of my stuff. I hate doing that.
Dr. Balis: I can't really see you announcing your intention to break up the relationship and then asking them to move out. Can you?
Ms. Green: Not particularly. But that would be nice.
Dr. Balis: I think you need to plan your exit strategy.
Ms. Green: Exit strategy. I like the sound of that.
Dr. Balis: I'm serious, Anna. Maybe you can stay with a friend for a few weeks until you find a place.
Ms. Green: This couch is very nice.
Dr. Balis: Anna...
Ms. Green: I'm just kidding. The problem is that I just don't want to think about any of this. I had a nice week being single, and I don't want to get bogged down with all these problems. If I start thinking about telling Martin and Kathy, I will just flip out. As it is, my palms get all sweaty and my underarms get tingly when I hear the phone ring in my office. How much more can I stand?
Dr. Balis: If it's so bad, why not make a clean break now?
Ms. Green: Are you joking? It would be far worse to just rush into this.
Dr. Balis: Why?
Ms. Green: For one thing, I would have to deal right now, right away. And I'm not ready for that. I don't want to.
Dr. Balis: Are you going to be ready in two weeks?
Ms. Green: Maybe. By then, I'll have a less frantic work environment, I hope. Doctor, I just want life to be normal again. I'm tired of being a freak in the middle of a soap opera. My friends at work don't even ask what's going on with me anymore. I bet they think that this is all my fault.
Dr. Balis: Why do you think so?
Ms. Green: Because it's partly true. I was the one who went after Martin.
Dr. Balis: That's not how I remember it.
Ms. Green: Well, I let things get this bad. I never should have agreed to let Kathy live with us. Who knows, if it wasn't for her, Martin and I might have had a normal relationship. Well, semi-normal relationship with a touch of toe-sucking. But is that bad?
Dr. Balis: You told me that you weren't particularly into that.
Ms. Green: I'm getting used to feet worship. It sort of grows on you.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: And sometimes...
Dr. Balis: What?
Ms. Green: Well, I'm not all that sorry that I tried the S&M thing.
Dr. Balis: No?
Ms. Green: There are aspects of it that I liked.
Dr. Balis: What did you like?
Ms. Green: You're not going to like my answer, Doctor Balis.
Dr. Balis: Why not?
Ms. Green: You just won't, trust me.
Dr. Balis: It's okay. You don't have to worry about my reaction to things, Anna.
Ms. Green: There was a sexual high--a charge that went through my whole body.
Dr. Balis: Go on.
Ms. Green: I liked...well, sometimes, I like feeling like I have no power, like I have surrendered to someone, like I have no control.
Dr. Balis: That's not what your relationship with Martin was all about.
Ms. Green: No. But I liked feeling in control sometimes, too.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Ms. Green: Last weekend, there was a party.
Dr. Balis: You mean...
Ms. Green: That's right--an S&M dungeon party. I wasn't going to go. But David...remember him?
Dr. Balis: Hmm...
Ms. Green: He was very brief and not particularly memorable.
Dr. Balis: Actually, I think I do remember. He is also a programmer and, as I remember, very handsome.
Ms. Green: That's the guy. Well, we got to talking about this topic late Friday night. We're all working late now. So he asked me a few questions, and I thought, "Why not just show the guy?"
Dr. Balis: Oh, Anna.
Ms. Green: I told him that he wouldn't have to do anything, just watch. So we went together. Oh, and I found out that I was wrong about that woman--the one in Martin's drawing?
Dr. Balis: Yes
Ms. Green: She's a full time submissive.
Dr. Balis: I wondered about that--she didn't look like a dominant to me.
Ms. Green: I don't know why Martin made her portrait. I don't think it was about sex with them.
Dr. Balis: Is she the one Martin stayed with while the baby situation was being resolved?
Ms. Green: I'm not sure. But it seems likely.
Dr. Balis: How do you feel about this?
Ms. Green: You mean how do I feel now that I don't think Martin cheated on me?
Dr. Balis: Yes.
Ms. Green: I guess it's nice. I'm glad and somewhat relieved.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: But ultimately it doesn't change anything.
Dr. Balis: Have you had any sexual relations with Martin recently?
Ms. Green: What do you mean by recently?
Dr. Balis: In the past few months.
Ms. Green: Well, sort of.
Dr. Balis: You sort of had sex with Martin?
Ms. Green: When he came to me and told me about the baby being okay and all...well, it sort of happened then.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: But there wasn't any vaginal penetration, if that's what you're asking.
Dr. Balis: No, I meant it more generally than that.
Ms. Green: Then I guess so.
Dr. Balis: Okay. We're out of time, Anna. I'll see you next week. I would recommend trying to make living arrangements...
Ms. Green: Yeah.
Dr. Balis: Call...
Ms. Green: I'll call if I need you. Thank you, Doctor.
Dr. Balis: All right. Good night, Anna.
Ms. Green: Goodbye.
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