Transcript of 13th Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Ms. Eliza Raven, Tuesday, May 27, 1997 at 12:00 pm.
Dr. Balis: Good afternoon, Eliza. I see they set you free.
Ms. Raven: Yes, they did. How sweet of them. It wasn't a heart attack after all. But, then again, I didn't think it was.
Dr. Balis: I'm glad to hear it.
Ms. Raven: Yeah.
Dr. Balis: Where would you like to start today?
Ms. Raven: Well, let me see. I already told you how my Monday went. And you got to meet Mom. Let's start with...trickery.
Dr. Balis: Trickery? That's a different topic.
Ms. Raven: I tricked you into admitting that Chris was a patient of yours, even though I really didn't know who her therapist was. I'm sorry. I think it must have been all those drugs they gave at the hospital to calm me down. Does that breach our trust thing?
Dr. Balis: A little, but I'm willing to let it slide, considering the circumstances.
Ms. Raven: The future Mrs. Balis is a lucky woman to have someone so forgiving.
Dr. Balis: What makes you think that I'm not married?
Ms. Raven: No ring.
Dr. Balis: Oh. I guess I hadn't really noticed.
Ms. Raven: And no pictures of the family strewn about. That's pretty standard in a doctor's office.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Raven: Chris and I are going to have to set you up--you deserve someone nice.
Dr. Balis: Well, thank you, Eliza, but...
Ms. Raven: You're welcome. Can I talk about my weekend now?
Dr. Balis: Please, go right ahead.
Ms. Raven: Thanks. Let me see...oh, I needed to clarify some things about last night that I found out about this morning. The reason Malcolm was there, and you will never believe this, is because of Anders.
Dr. Balis: You mean, Anders--the drag queen bassist?
Ms. Raven: The same. Apparently, Chris had told him what a beast Mal is, and Anders rushed over to Roma's to tell him off. Malcolm managed to calm the prancing queen down and told dear old Anders his side of the story. At which point, Anders looked deep into his frappachino and sighed: "Ah, the burden of star-crossed lovers." I opened my big mouth and told Anders about the Memorial day party. He hopped off the phone with me and hopped back on with Malcolm, arranging a surprise visit.
Dr. Balis: Anders was trying to get Christina and Malcolm back together?
Ms. Raven: Yes. But I don't think that's going to work. Chris was pretty pissed at him for lying to her. In fact, I was pretty pissed at being lied to, as well. And Chris tried to accuse me of going along with him in deceiving her. I wasn't, of course, but she tried to get me to admit to it. I think she finally believed me, but that was the first major argument that we had as friends. I don't know quite how to feel about Mal, right now. I mean, he lied to me too, but he also saved Peter from irreparable damage.
Dr. Balis: I see. And how is Peter?
Ms. Raven: I honestly don't know. He cleared out pretty fast, leaving me with an "I'll write you soon." I miss him when he's away, but I also get frustrated with him. I've encouraged him to come back to you for help. But he's like me when I talk about the restraining order--"Soon," he tells me. "Soon." I just hope to gods that his "soon" doesn't turn out like my "soon" did.
Dr. Balis: Do you think that it will?
Ms. Raven: Well, in his last few e-mails to me, he hinted at the fact that she's beating on him now, which pisses me off to no end, being a survivor of physical abuse myself. And if she is voodooing me...which I don't think she is, but if she is then she's got another thing coming. You know, making someone stay with you against their own free will encroaches upon the Law of Three.
Dr. Balis: What is the Law of Three?
Ms. Raven: "Bide the Wiccan law ye must,
in perfect love, in perfect trust.
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill:
an ye harm none, do what ye will.
What ye send forth comes back to thee,
so ever mind the Rule of Three.
Follow this with mind and heart,
and merry ye meet, and merry ye part."
Dr. Balis: You mean, no bad deed goes unpunished?
Ms. Raven: Whatever you send forth comes back to you threefold. You send out love, and it comes back to you three times as strong as when you sent it out.
Dr. Balis: And if you send out hate...
Ms. Raven: Then you get it back three times stronger than you sent it. And believe me, if you do, you deserve every bit of it, too.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Ms. Raven: If Serena is sending out her loathing of me, then she's going to get what's coming to her. The Wiccan Rede can't be broken, except in times of self-defense. I've got everything on her, if she's trying to harm me. But I have to find out if she's doing it first.
Dr. Balis: Do you think that she is harming you?
Ms. Raven: I don't know. She might be. Or I might just have an over-active imagination.
Dr. Balis: Hmm. How was yesterday evening all together?
Ms. Raven: All in all, I might find this funny...in twenty years or so, but not now.
Dr. Balis: Okay. How was the rest of your weekend?
Ms. Raven: I spent Saturday and Sunday at Granny and Grampy Ravenski's.
Dr. Balis: How did that go?
Ms. Raven: They live out in the country in the Anderson Valley, and they're probably the most pagan people that I've every met. So many pagans live this pipe dream in the city--they'll have gardens and go back to nature. But those pagans do nothing about it. When Granny found her calling in Wicca, she went with it and dragged her husband into it, too! She hauled them off to the country and bought a farm, where she has gardens upon gardens, trees, and her own space in the wilds, as she puts it.
Dr. Balis: Your grandparents are both Wiccan?
Ms. Raven: The former High Priest and Priestess of The Coven of the Weeping Willow. They introduced me to Wicca. Granny has this huge library of books. She tries to get every pagan book out there for people to do research from. That, and so she can boast about how many books she has read. She brags even more now--she got that speed reading program from TV and can read a whole book in a half hour.
Dr. Balis: Impressive. It sounds like you care about your grandparents very much.
Ms. Raven: I do. My first pagan teachers, that's what they are. And I can never repay them for helping me find my spiritual path. But anyhow, that's not what the whole weekend was about.
Dr. Balis: There's more?
Ms. Raven: Yes, there's more. On a more serious note, we buried the baby.
Dr. Balis: Pardon?
Ms. Raven: We buried the doll that Luke gave me for Mother's Day. And I finally had that funeral for my baby.
Dr. Balis: How do you feel about that?
Ms. Raven: At peace with myself. Granny and I performed the ritual. I cried a whole lot. But we laid her memory to rest--set her free. Grampy and I sat out in his shop, afterwards, and talked a long time. He didn't blame me for the accident, or for the miscarriage. It was the first time that I ever really felt blameless for the whole thing. I guess Grampy's like that. He's a teacher that shows, as opposing to being a teacher that tells, like Granny. I guess that's why they're perfect for each other. I've never met a more loving couple...well, besides for Anders and Phillip, but that's a different story.
Dr. Balis: Speaking of your band, how is Josie?
Ms. Raven: Crazy. Absolutely insane. He came to me this morning and told me that he's not gay after all. He knows that, now. Apparently, he went to some psychic who told him that he wasn't gay and that he was in love with me--just what he wanted to hear, I presume. He asked me to help him tell Robin that he's moving in with me! Of all the nerve!
Dr. Balis: What did you do?
Ms. Raven: I told him that there's no way in hell that he's moving in with me. I told him that he's going to go to therapy and sort out his confusion. And I told him that if he makes a pass at me again like a couple of Fridays ago, that I'll learn karate and kick his ass.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Raven: Well, yes. I did over-react. But this male pressure has got me going crazy. And to top it all off, I got a phone call from Isaac this week, sobbing about his love-life. Apparently, Wendy, the wench, stole his charge card and managed to ruin his credit. Dad talked him into breaking up with her. Now Isaac's miserable and thinks that I should be too--now that I'm "all alone," as he put it.
Dr. Balis: Here are the tissues, Eliza. Do you think that you are all alone?
Ms. Raven: Sometimes. But I have to move on. I can't be dragged down simply because my older brother never matured. That's selfish of him. Can we talk about something else, please? I'm getting so bogged down in emotion here that I can't think straight.
Dr. Balis: How are you getting bogged down?
Ms. Raven: Everyone's been dumping their problems on me lately. I can't handle all of this. I like the fact that people confide in me, but it's starting to really get to me. Do you ever feel like that, Doctor Balis? Like everybody else's emotional shit is just smothering you?
Dr. Balis: I don't see it that way, but I can understand what you're saying.
Ms. Raven: Thank you, Doctor Balis. Thank you so much.
Dr. Balis: You're welcome, Eliza.
Ms. Raven: And thank you for prescribing Zoloft.
Dr. Balis: How is that working out for you?
Ms. Raven: As you can see, it's calmed me down a lot. I feel better about taking it now. I know that it's going to make me stop crying all of the time. I feel more in control of my life. That's good, right?
Dr. Balis: Yes, Eliza. That's good. But it looks like we're out of time here.
Ms. Raven: Really? We just started a minute ago...
Dr. Balis: It's been an awfully long minute.
Ms. Raven: Your corny jokes are killing me, Doctor Balis. Same time, same place, next week?
Dr. Balis: Yes. That's June 3rd, at noon.
Ms. Raven: Great. Awesome. Cool. See you then.
Dr. Balis: Goodbye, Eliza.
Ms. Raven: Later, Doctor B!
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