Transcript of 14th Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Mr. Alex Rozzi, Wednesday, August 27, 1997 at 12:00 pm.

Dr. Balis: Hello, Alex, please come in. How are things with you this week?
Mr. Rozzi: I'm a little saddle sore from riding the bike so much.
Dr. Balis: I noticed that you don't have a helmet with you. I remembered that last week as well. Do you use a helmet?
Mr. Rozzi: I don't want to hear it, man. And I've already heard it from Ralph, and my mom, and Aunt Sofie. I don't like wearing it; it's too uncomfortable.
Dr. Balis: I understand how you feel. I felt the same way when I first wore one. I felt like it looked funny, too.
Mr. Rozzi: Well then, you understand where I'm coming from. So don't give me any shit about it, okay?
Dr. Balis: Okay, but...
Mr. Rozzi: I don't want to hear it!
Dr. Balis: Okay. So tell me what's going on? How you are feeling and...Alex? What's that smell? Have you started smoking again?
Mr. Rozzi: No, I haven't. Well, not really, but...Roly likes to smoke dope. And lately I've been feeling pretty wound up, you know? Real tight--like a spring. So anyway, I smoked some with him the other day, and this seed or something popped and landed on one of my dreads and burned it and...well, I can't seem to get rid of the smell. That's what you smell--my hair.
Dr. Balis: I see. Alex, I don't want to give a you a lecture on the use of illegal drugs, but...
Mr. Rozzi: Then don't. I don't want to hear any lectures about it, okay? Jeez! What's with you anyway? You think you're my father or something? First, the helmet and now the pot--what are you going to come down on me for next?
Dr. Balis: It's not my intention to "come down" on you, Alex. But I'm going to tell you when I think you are taking actions which aren't in your best interest. And riding without a helmet is stupid, and smoking pot really isn't such a good idea.
Mr. Rozzi: Okay, but I'm no dummy. I know what I can handle and what my limits are, so let it go already.
Dr. Balis: Hmm. Let's talk about your feelings. You said you've been feeling all wound up. What's going on there?
Mr. Rozzi: You don't give up, do you? Okay, okay, I'll tell you what's been going on. First, this week I got a call from guess who?
Dr. Balis: Benny?
Mr. Rozzi: Bingo! And he wants me to forgive him and help him. I mean, hello? I'm ready to kill, and he wants me to help him? Ha! I laughed at him. He was so sincere and sweet and apologetic. But you should have heard him when I laughed--he just went off. Even Ralph could hear it from all the way across the room. I asked him, "What? They let you guys use the phones? I was hoping your fingers would be broken by now." But when he was yelling at me, he told me that he knew what I did to his precious little car and that he would get me for it. And he said that he'd get me for turning him in, too. When I tried to say something, he yelled over me and then the line was cut-off. I bet they pulled the plug on him when he started yelling. Or maybe somehow he snuck a phone call when he was in some office or something, I don't know. So Dora spilled the beans on me and Roly.
Dr. Balis: I see. And how did it make you feel to hear Benny's voice again? It's been a while...
Mr. Rozzi: At first, I felt like a deer in the headlights--paralyzed. But then, when I realized why he was calling me, something changed and I had to just laugh--it was so ridiculous, you know? It was like he had no clue what's going on with me. And he thought I turned him in--good old Dora didn't spill all of it. I'm a little pissed at her right now. But after the call, I went straight to my bathroom and hurled my guts out. Poor Ralph got the distinct pleasure of cleaning up after me.
Dr. Balis: Hmm. You mentioned Roly. When was he released from the hospital?
Mr. Rozzi: Well, was kind of...sort of not released. But he's out.
Dr. Balis: What do you mean?
Mr. Rozzi: Okay, I'll tell you. But you've got to promise me that you won't try to interfere or anything. I think I can trust you and all, and I don't want to think that after all this time I won't be able to trust you. So you have to promise.
Dr. Balis: I'm not sure what I would promising. Tell me what happened, Alex, and we'll go from there.
Mr. Rozzi: Well, I went to visit him a few more times, and he was still android-boy--no Roly behind those eyes. He was still heavily drugged. But when I'd visit him, he'd sort of come on and be there with me for a minute or two. Then last week--Friday I think--I went down there and they had moved him from the locked unit to the open unit. We even got to take a walk. So we're walking along and no one's speaking, then all of a sudden Roly just stops and grabs my shoulders and tells me that he has got to get out of there. He said that he was hiding his drugs, and when the nurse wasn't looking he dumped them down the toilet. So there he was--his old self again. And I was looking at him, hearing what he was saying. He told me that he thought that they were going to give him electroshock treatment. And I was like, "No way, dude." And so we just kept on walking.
Dr. Balis: Alex, I know your intentions were honorable--you were trying to help your friend. But Roly was prescribed those medications for a reason. If he just stops taking them, there could be very serious consequences. Where is he staying?
Mr. Rozzi: Look, I can see you and I aren't going to agree on this either. I don't think I should tell you anymore about Roly. So, let's change the subject. How about those Giants?
Dr. Balis: This is very serious, Alex. I'm worried that Roly's health might be in danger. Alex, I think you should talk Roly into seeking some help.
Mr. Rozzi: You look like you saw a ghost or something. What's the matter with you today anyway? Haven't I asked you that already?
Dr. Balis: Alex, all I know is what you told me about Roly--he's very depressed, he's having problems coping, and there's a possibility that he could hurt himself. This is serious and you know it. You are getting help, and I believe that you know that Roly should too.
Mr. Rozzi: Okay, so tell me then, how would I go about getting him to go back there? It's not like I can go get him and then take him there without him knowing what I was up to, you know? I didn't force him to leave that place. Plus right now, I don't even know where he's staying. What if I tell him what you told me and then let him decide what he wants to do? How does that sound?
Dr. Balis: It sounds like the best I'm going to be able to do. So I think that would be good.
Mr. Rozzi: Thank you. A couple of other things happened, and I want to tell you about them. I don't want to get into the dream shit...or maybe I should be calling them nightmares?
Dr. Balis: Are you still having nightmares?
Mr. Rozzi: Almost nightly. I'm just about afraid to go to sleep, but I do anyway.
Dr. Balis: Do you remember your nightmares?
Mr. Rozzi: Nothing. Everything. I don't know exactly. I dream about Benny practically every night, and now Dora's visiting me in my sleep. But that thing with the old fart--the art teacher--well, he was coming up there too, until I talked to Ralph about it.
Dr. Balis: What did Ralph have to say about it?
Mr. Rozzi: I told him what my suspicions were, and he said I was right on the money.
Dr. Balis: You mean he was really trying to prostitute you?
Mr. Rozzi: No! No way! Gosh, you have a dirty mind. That's not what I meant. The guy was acting weird and all, but Ralph told me he does that to anything that moves. All I needed to do with him was to lay down the law, and he would have respected that. But I told Ralph that I don't want to learn from that guy right now, maybe later on.
Dr. Balis: It was a good thing to talk to Ralph about it and let him know how you were feeling.
Mr. Rozzi: Yeah, I felt better telling him all that. It seems as though Ralph really does respect my wishes a lot more than I give him credit for. Oh, and I decided to take your advice and talk to mom about what was going on with her. It totally backfired on me.
Dr. Balis: Why? What happened?
Mr. Rozzi: When I started to ask her about it, she kept changing the subject. But I pressed her some more. Well, she blew up in my face and got all pissed off at me, calling me names and shit. I had to cut and run, you know? I even asked Mark about it before I tried to talk to her, and he just told me to ask her. He was weird about it though.
Dr. Balis: How so?
Mr. Rozzi: When I asked him, he was all stuttering and saying stuff like, "It's not my place to talk about this with you. There's nothing to worry about"--bull like that. He knows what is going on, but he won't give. But I did something else where he's concerned.
Dr. Balis: What did you do?
Mr. Rozzi: I went over to the house when I knew everyone would be gone, and I got into his stuff. Found a photo of his "ex-wife." She is my mom's clone, it's real scary. And her name is Lori--kind of like the Twilight Zone, you know? I even found some letters she wrote him, and I don't think they are divorced at all.
Dr. Balis: Why do you think that?
Mr. Rozzi: In one of the letters she said something like she can't even come to California to see him and the girls. It seemed to me that she might be in jail or something. The way it was said was as though she were being held somewhere against her will and that Mark held the key to her release or something. But I'm going to get to the bottom of this. She didn't come right out and say these things, you know? It's just the tone of the letters and the way she wrote the words. The more my mom acts weird and the more Mark tries to hide from my questions, the more I want to know the truth. And it's just like her to keep secrets from me, you know? It really pisses me off. Lately, I can't stop thinking about that, or about Benny's threats--as if he was in a position to do anything to me, that fool! Or I just can't seem to turn it off, you know?
Dr. Balis: Turn it off?
Mr. Rozzi: Yeah, like my head won't stop spinning around with all these thoughts going on.
Dr. Balis: Alex, we are almost out of time. I would like to show you a trick that sometimes helps to keep the mind from wandering and helps keep the focus on the here and now. Now, humor me, okay? First, stomp both you feet on the floor. Harder. Good. Tell me what you feel.
Mr. Rozzi: Duh, the floor.
Dr. Balis: You feel your feet hitting the floor, right? Good. Now, slap your knees with your hands and then rub them like this. Yes, that's right. What do you feel?
Mr. Rozzi: My hands are stinging and my knees hurt.
Dr. Balis: This would be the thing to do when you find yourself drifting--something physical. Even a little thing like this can sometimes force you into the moment and out of your head. And I'll bet you can figure out other ways to achieve this goal.
Mr. Rozzi: Okay, I'll try that. You know, I'm pretty hard on you sometimes and I don't mean to be. I know you are helping me and I do appreciate it, see?
Dr. Balis: I understand perfectly, Alex. Well, this is it. Same time next week then?
Mr. Rozzi: Okay, dude, thanks a lot! See you!
Dr. Balis: Goodbye, Alex.
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