Transcript of 56th Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Mr. Alex Rozzi, Wednesday, July 29, 1998 at 5:00 pm.

Mr. Rozzi: Hey.
Dr. Balis: Hello, Alex. How are things going? Why did you sit down so carefully? Is there a problem?
Mr. Rozzi: Some mean old lipstick lesbiterians got to me at Dore Alley on Sunday. I have welts on my ass and legs, and they still hurt.
Dr. Balis: Hmm. I see.
Mr. Rozzi: So, my past came back to haunt me this week.
Dr. Balis: What happened?
Mr. Rozzi: Remember that dude I beat up? The one whose face I messed up? The shit that landed me here in your office in the first place? Well, the police came by my mom's, looking for me.
Dr. Balis: What did they want?
Mr. Rozzi: He's dead.
Dr. Balis: Dead?
Mr. Rozzi: Yeah, dead as a doornail. They found him inside this abandoned building around the corner from Ralph's bar. They went in to renovate it or something, and there he was. He'd been in there for about a year, according to the police.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Mr. Rozzi: My first thought was of Benny and Roly. Remember? They chased him out of the bar after he head-butted me, and when they came back, they told me that I won't have to worry about him any more. And boy, were they right. Only I didn't know how right they were until now. I didn't really think they would do something like that, but I guess they did. It took me a minute to realize that I was actually thinking of some way to protect Benny, but then I came to my senses. I told police the truth--Benny and Roly chased the guy out of the bar after he did that to me, and that was the last time I ever saw the dude. I guess they're talking to Benny about it right now. I don't know. But this would explain more what happened with Roly.
Dr. Balis: What do you mean?
Mr. Rozzi: Explain why he went crazy the way he did. It was probably heavy on his mind. I know it would've weighed heavy on my mind. But this got me to thinking about what happened between me and that dude. I remember it all too clear: how I beat his face in and why. It's like I'm so totally different now than then, you know?
Dr. Balis: I agree. You have made great strides since then, Alex. But...
Mr. Rozzi: You can tell how bugged I am about it, huh? I'm bugged by it. Well, it was bad enough that I was doing...uh, tricking...doing the things that we do the best. Ha! Ha! Ha! But it was like I was expected to do it. I should have gotten the money from him up front, but I didn't. And then he didn't want to pay, and I was so...uh, I don't know. He laughed at me and called me "white trash." So I told him, "Fuck you!" Just like that: "Fuck you, dude!" And he backhanded me, twice even. And then I...uh, I went off on him. You know the rest. It was like a bad dream, a real bad dream.
Dr. Balis: Are you a murder suspect?
Mr. Rozzi: I think the police were looking at me as if I did it, but then I told them about Benny and Roly. They were able to check with a few other people at the bar that what I said was really true. So, I don't know. I didn't do it, that's fosheezala.
Dr. Balis: Huh?
Mr. Rozzi: Fosheezala. You know...god, do I have to explain everything to you? For sure. It means "for sure," dude.
Dr. Balis: Oh.
Mr. Rozzi: Sometimes you old dudes really are a trip. But I have an alibi and it checks out. So I think they are looking at Benny for answers now. It's not like they can ask Roly.
Dr. Balis: Well, I hope there aren't any more repercussions over this, Alex.
Mr. Rozzi: You and me both, dude! It just totally blew my mind. What a fucking trip! After all this time...and do you want to talk about trippy shit? The other night, I thought I'd drop over to Tony's and I almost died. They were in drag.
Dr. Balis: They?
Mr. Rozzi: Yeah, Sharon and him. And drag queens really freak me out. Drag queens scare me the way clowns scare some people. It's creepy, you know? Girls with Adam's apples. Brrr! It gives me chills and stuff. But there they were on their way out the door. I asked this tall blond woman where Tony was, and she...I mean, he spoke. It was Tony! He was wearing this weird white mesh mini skirt and this bright pink g-string underneath with a matching pink high heel shoes. It looked like he might have shaved his legs, too. That blond wig was all long and curly, and it really changed him into another person. He looked different! But when Tony's voice came out of this tall, beautiful whore, my legs almost gave out on me. It was so completely out there, so weird! Then Sharon came out dressed as a man, like Alicia Silverstone in that Aerosmith video--in a suit and tie. I was stunned and couldn't help myself from looking her up and down a few times. And our eyes locked into each other's for a split second. That bitch can see right into my mind; she knew exactly what I was thinking.
Dr. Balis: What were you thinking?
Mr. Rozzi: She has really changed Tony. Or maybe I should say that Tony is totally gullible. He lets her reinvent him, and it's sort of like how Tim controlled him, too. That's how he became Tim's slave. Tony changes to suit other people's desires. That's really not right, you know? And she shouldn't be doing this either. It's so obvious that Tony is like that, and she is totally taking advantage of that...of him. I don't know.
Dr. Balis: Sounds like it was a disconcerting experience for you.
Mr. Rozzi: It was discon-something, that's for sure, dude! So weird. I don't think Tony has ever done something like that before. But she saw me, saw my eyes. And the look in her eyes was like she knew how I felt about it--how disgusted I was with them...with her. It's not like I could hide it or anything. So off they went to a party or something, I don't know. With those lesbiterians last week all looking like little boys, and then Tony dressed as a blond whore, plus all those men and women at Dore Alley dressed up in leather--yet another form of drag--well, my head's spinning. I had more dreams that registered as nightmares. I have to remind myself that this is not the world--these messed up people are not the world, not the real world.
Dr. Balis: Well...
Mr. Rozzi: It's like a mental illness or something, isn't it? It has to be.
Dr. Balis: Not necessarily. Just because a man...
Mr. Rozzi: Just because a man is into wearing stokings, high hills, and's sick, I'm telling you, Doc. Sick.
Dr. Balis: Why don't we move on, Alex.
Mr. Rozzi: Well...oh yeah, I went with Cami to her cousin's funeral...I mean wedding. We went to a wedding this past weekend. Funeral, wedding--same difference! Might as well get buried when you get married! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh well, it was down in Belmont, right next to that hospital that Roly stayed in. It was real elegant, in this lush garden setting. But things took a bizarre turn.
Dr. Balis: How so?
Mr. Rozzi: Well, two ways. First, we learned during the ceremony that these people were Christian--born-again Christians. There was all this religious crap they said and did. It was too weird. I can't seem to get away from those people! So I leaned over and asked Cami when they were going to try to convert us. She laughed out loud right in the middle of the ceremony. This old woman sitting next to us sort of stuck to Cami and me from then on. Now she was a trip! She thought we were a couple. She was like eighty-three years old and drinking all this champagne. She said, "I'm eighty-three years old, and I am not passing up any more parties, damnit!" She got to the champagne before anyone else could--even before the bride and groom did--and she sucked it down like it was water. And later they did the bouquet toss, and guess who caught it?
Dr. Balis: The elderly woman?
Mr. Rozzi: You're warm, but no cigar! Cami caught it. The old lady elbowed me in the ribs and winked at me. She said, "You're next sweetheart!" I was all, "If only you knew." She was such a trip. People are a trip.
Dr. Balis: You've been spending a lot of time with Cami lately.
Mr. Rozzi: Yeah, so? She and I are buds. Luke has been working out of the country lately, and I hardly get to see him, so...
Dr. Balis: Why is he out of the country?
Mr. Rozzi: Duh, hello? He's a fashion model, remember? This is the time of year when the big fashion houses are showing their fall lines, and he's under contract to this designer, and they do all the runway shows. Right now, they are running shows back to back. He's real busy. He's pretty good at it, too, so natural. He calls every other day, and we talk for an hour or so. But I'm beginning to get tired of him being away so much, most of the time lately. I hardly get to see him even when he's here. And he was saying that his agent wants him to move to New York. I was all, "Whatever." If he does, I'm not following him.
Dr. Balis: Is that what he wants you to do?
Mr. Rozzi: I don't know. Probably. But I won't and I told him so. Cami said that the reason Luke and I get along so well is because he's only around part-time. She pointed out our hot-and-cold attitudes toward each other.
Dr. Balis: Is that how you are together?
Mr. Rozzi: Well, I don't know. I guess we are. You have to remember how we met--I was working that Macy's Passport show last year, and Beylund wanted to help me get into modeling, and I punched out Luke because he was taunting me.
Dr. Balis: I remember.
Mr. Rozzi: How many people do you know who get a boyfriend after punching him out first? He taunts me still sometimes, but it's all pretty good-natured, I guess. But sometimes, I get irritated with him and don't want to be around him because that unending teasing gets old. He can be relentless, and I can get moody.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Mr. Rozzi: Oh yeah, speaking of relentless, Regina is out of jail. The other day, when I was at the wedding, someone rang the doorbell, but Ralph didn't get up to answer it since he wasn't expecting anybody. Ralph said that whoever it was kept ringing and ringing. And then the ringing turned into pounding. And then this woman started yelling out my name saying things like: "I know you're in there, Alex!" I know it was Regina. That bitch is certifiable! Eventually, she went away. But not before she turned over some of the potted plants along the stairs outside and broke the pots. She is crazy.
Dr. Balis: Why didn't Ralph call the police?
Mr. Rozzi: What planet do you live on? The San Francisco police wouldn't come to the house just because some crazy bitch is knocking on your door. They don't have time for that. Plus, Ralph isn't like that. He wouldn't want her to get into trouble. He's too nice sometimes. I probably would have gone outside and chased her down the stairs with the fireplace poker or something. I wish she would crawl back under the rock from where she came and leave me the hell alone.
Dr. Balis: Perhaps it might be a good idea to make the police aware of the situation. This girl sounds dangerous.
Mr. Rozzi: Yeah, right! She's about as dangerous as that old woman at the wedding!
Dr. Balis: Seriously, Alex. She was arrested for brandishing a loaded gun. I think you need to call the police if she comes back. And don't chase her down the stairs with the fireplace poker or any other weapon.
Mr. Rozzi: Well...
Dr. Balis: I'm not kidding, Alex.
Mr. Rozzi: I...ha! Ha! You really got your shorts all twisted up, dude! Get a hold of yourself. I guess I'll talk to Ralph about it. We'll see. Wow! Look at the time! We have really run over today.
Dr. Balis: We have, haven't we? Well, Alex, take care of yourself, and I'll see you next week.
Mr. Rozzi: All right, man. See you then.
Dr. Balis: Goodbye, Alex.
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