Transcript of 12th Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Ms. Anna Green, Thursday, September 19th, 1996 at 4 pm.

Ms. Green: Hello Doctor. It is very nice to see you. I have been thinking about you a lot this week.
Dr. Balis: Oh? It's nice to see you too, Anna.
Ms. Green: Yes, after our conversation last week, I was walking home and realized that you are the only men who really knows me. You know me as a person and you know my most intimate secrets. I even tell you about things I wouldn't talk to Caren about.
Dr. Balis: The relationship between a patient and a therapist is very intimate. The revelations made during our therapy session hopefully help you learn more about yourself.
Ms. Green: I know. But there is more. I think if you were somebody else I wouldn't be as open.
Dr. Balis: I'm glad our sessions work for you, Anna.
Ms. Green: Yes, I really look forward to them. I sometimes even play out our sessions in my head.
Dr. Balis: The sessions we had?
Ms. Green: Sometimes. But sometimes they are new sessions--things we didn't talk about or how our conversation would have changed if I said something different. Stuff like that.
Dr. Balis: Do you have these virtual therapy sessions often?
Ms. Green: I don't know. A couple of times a week maybe. Last week, though, I thought about you a lot so it might have been more than that.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Green: It was exciting telling you about my fantasy. It felt very emotional. Even a bit physical. How does it make you feel when patients tell you about sexual fantasies and dreams? Do you think about afterwards? A little maybe?
Dr. Balis: It's my job to listen to my patients. I also think about therapy sessions. It helps me understand my patients better so I could be more effective.
Ms. Green: That's nice Doctor. But I don't mean professionally. I mean do you get affected by what you hear? Do you sometimes dream about your patients? Or think of them as a man and not as a doctor?
Dr. Balis: But I am a Doctor, Anna.
Ms. Green: And a very good one. But I know that when people dream, we are not always in control of our thoughts. Isn't that true, Doctor?
Dr. Balis: Yes.
Ms. Green: So do you remember dreams about your patients?
Dr. Balis: Sometimes. Not always. Many dreams are just never recalled in a wakeful state. That's just the way human brain works. Sometimes a dream can leave an emotional print and when a person wakes up he or she could feel sad or happy as a result of a dream. But the content of the dream that changed a person's mood might be completely lost to consciousness.
Ms. Green: I've had dreams like that. I would wake up shivering but I wouldn't remember why. I don't like that. I really make an effort to recall my dreams.
Dr. Balis: Are you successful?
Ms. Green: Not always. But a lot of times. I've even had dreams that I like a lot and then try to continue them the following night. Sort of like a movie. I've had some dreams that lasted about a week. I've liked them so much I couldn't wait to go to bed. Does this happen to you?
Dr. Balis: I've had dreams like that a few times. Would you like to tell me about your movie-dreams?
Ms. Green: Sure. When I was about thirteen I had this really long dream. It lasted forever. And every evening I would call my girl friend and tell her about it. She really liked the story and she said that it was almost like having a novel read to her.
Dr. Balis: Probably telling the dream to your friend reinforced it in your memory.
Ms. Green: Yes. I thought so too.
Dr. Balis: So can you tell me about this dream?
Ms. Green: It was really bizarre and I'm not sure I remember all of it. I just have some details left.
Dr. Balis: That's okay.
Ms. Green: I was this pilot on a patrolling mission on Earth. I had a third of the globe as my responsibility. Europe was part of my territory as was part of Africa and Antarctica. There were two other patrol ships and they all had one person in it.
Dr. Balis: Why were you patrolling the Earth?
Ms. Green: Oh, I was part of this alien race that discovered Earth some centuries ago and decided to keep an eye on it until Earthlings were ready for contact. I was only thirteen.
Dr. Balis: So you were an alien?
Ms. Green: Yes.
Dr. Balis: Were you a female or it didn't matter?
Ms. Green: I was a female. The other two pilots were male. I think one was named Auet and I don't remember the other one's name.
Dr. Balis: That's okay. Please go on.
Ms. Green: Well, it's really silly, now that I remember it. But I would fly over the Earth and it would be so pretty.
Dr. Balis: Did you ever make a landing?
Ms. Green: I would only be allowed to land in deserted places so no one on Earth would know about us. So I would tend to land next to waterfalls and on ice glaciers. The kind of places you would only dream about--spectacularly gorgeous, totally secluded, and only accessible by an alien patrol ship.
Dr. Balis: So this aircraft was very small?
Ms. Green: Pretty small. With room enough for one but very crammed if there were two.
Dr. Balis: Did you ever pick up passengers?
Ms. Green: That was forbidden.
Dr. Balis: By whom?
Ms. Green: By my superior officers, I guess. I never thought about it.
Dr. Balis: So the patrol was military?
Ms. Green: I don't think so. It just was. Some parts of the story just never really needed to be defined that finely.
Dr. Balis: Sorry. I was just trying to understand.
Ms. Green: No problem. It's a rather complicated dream.
Dr. Balis: So you would just fly over the Earth. Did anything else ever happen?
Ms. Green: Oh sure. I crashed once.
Dr. Balis: Where?
Ms. Green: In France. In Paris to be precise.
Dr. Balis: Did anyone notice?
Ms. Green: I was knocked unconscious during the crash and a weird underground group rescued me. I was carried by this giant man through the Paris catacombs. I remember the dark tunnels and funny smelling water which was running through bottom of most of them.
Dr. Balis: You actually remember the smell?
Ms. Green: Yes. And the sound of trickling water and footsteps going through water. It was very vivid. There was also a feeling of excitement and fear. And I remember my whole body reacting to being held by this man. The tunnels were cold but his arms and chest were warm. I liked being held like that. It felt like he was very strong and could carry me forever if he had to.
Dr. Balis: Do you know what he looked like?
Ms. Green: No, it was too dark. I remember waking up in his arms and trying to understand what happened. His voice was very calm and deep and it made me relax even though I didn't understand what he said. I understood that he was trying to help me. This part of the dream I had again and again.
Dr. Balis: The man carrying you?
Ms. Green: Yes. Somehow re-remembering the feeling of being held by him made me feel good. For month after this dream was over, I would try to think about as I would fall asleep.
Dr. Balis: Did you ever get out of the tunnels?
Ms. Green: I must have. But what attracted me most to the dream was the tunnels. They were endless. Sometimes there would be just a pin prick of light from far away. And everyone would tense up, not wanting to be discovered. But for the most part it was just sounds and smells.
Dr. Balis: There were a lot of people in the tunnels?
Ms. Green: There were several people but I never knew the exact number.
Dr. Balis: Were they all men?
Ms. Green: I don't remember. There wasn't much conversation. We didn't want to be discovered. I also remember the man's heartbeat. I could feel it through my clothing against my chest. Sometimes it almost felt like our hearts were synchronized, beating at the same time. He felt so strong, like he could carry me forever.
Dr. Balis: Yes, you said that.
Ms. Green: There was a very strong sense of power about this man.
Dr. Balis: Did you ever think who this man might be?
Ms. Green: You mean in real life?
Dr. Balis: Yes. Is there a parallel figure in the real world for you?
Ms. Green: I don't think so. But the funny part is that years later I went to see Les Miserables in New York with my parents. And I realized that the man was Jean Valjean.
Dr. Balis: Yes. Now I remember. There was a section in the book where Jean carries his daughter's fiancé through the Paris catacombs. Interesting. So you think your dream is partly based on Victor Hugo's novel?
Ms. Green: I read it a few years before I had the dream and must have completely forgotten about it. I didn't recollect anything about it until I saw the Broadway version and then I immediately realized that it was part of my dream. I'd even forgotten the dream by then--I was much older. But as I was sitting in the audience, the flood of memories just hit me. I remembered all the smells and sounds. It actually felt very strange sitting in the dark next to my parents and thinking about him.
Dr. Balis: Do you think there was sexual content in that dream?
Ms. Green: Maybe. It did give me pleasure even though not in the same way as an explicitly sexual fantasy would.
Dr. Balis: Well we are out of time for today. Maybe we can come back to this next time?
Ms. Green: You know, Doctor, you never told me about your dreams.
Dr. Balis: Same time next week?
Ms. Green: I'll look forward to it, Doctor. Maybe I'll have a dream about you and tell you about it.
Dr. Balis: Goodbye Anna. September 26th at 4 pm?
Ms. Green: Goodbye Doctor. That'll be fine. Pleasant dreams.
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