Transcript of 47th Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Mr. Alex Rozzi, Wednesday, May 27, 1998 at 5:00 pm.

Dr. Balis: Hello, Alex. You look happy. Uh, what happened to your hand?
Mr. Rozzi: Hey, man. My hand? Oh, it's only my thumb, really. I did it the night before the wedding. It hurts like a...I don't know, it just hurts! It seems to be throbbing all the time.
Dr. Balis: What happened?
Mr. Rozzi: Well, the night before the wedding, we had the rehearsal dinner for the wedding party...well for everyone, family too. Wow! There are people I'm related to that I've never even imagined existed: cousins, an uncle, a grandmother. I was totally blown away, I'm telling you. So, my hand...well, that was after the dinner. We took Mark out. Actually, we just had a party at the house of one of his friends. Mark and I were roughhousing--wrestling and stuff--and my thumb just kind of got crunched. We ended up in the emergency room for three hours that night, and we all had to get up early the next morning. My mom would have murdered every one of us if anything went wrong, you know?
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Mr. Rozzi: So anyway, what was I saying? We waited for three hours for the doctors to fix me up. It was a clean break, they said, and Mark's brother...uh, my uncle, his name is Cal, was telling me to hold on, trying to encourage me to keep my chin up, even though I was in total agony. So yeah. Well, what a trip, you know? I've never even thought about it--Mark has this whole family I've never met. I told you about his brother, Cal. And then there was their mother--my...uh, my grandmother, I guess. And there were all these cousins and stuff. I actually really truly have a family, a real family, can you believe it? Oh! But the big deal was what happened to my mom after the wedding, at the reception.
Dr. Balis: What happened?
Mr. Rozzi: Well, even Katherine saw it, she mentioned something about it. I can't remember how she put it, but in a way that told me she saw it, too. She thought it was sweet or something, I don't know. My mom looked stunning, like she had never had a baby. She was so petite and all done up in that gown--my grandmother's antique Victorian thing, real pretty. Anyway, she really looked fantastic. Mark and she had been dancing for awhile, and then he came over and got me to get up and slow dance with my mother. And she clang to me tight and sort of hugged me. And when I looked down at her, she looked up and she was all crying. I don't know what hit her, but something in her eyes struck me. Normally, I wouldn't get all teary-eyed at something like that, but I did. Then, without saying a word, she grabbed my chin and planted a big wet one on my cheek. She hadn't done anything like that before. And I guess I turned bright red. I could feel the flush come over my face, you know? It was so weird. Nothing like that has ever happened between us, ever.
Dr. Balis: What did you feel like when it happened?
Mr. Rozzi: I don't know, I'm not sure. Weird. It was like I was having a dream or something. I mean there we were in public. Was that an act or what? She got all emotional on me and everything, it just completely blew me away. It was so not like her. Then Katherine said something to me as she was leaving. She said, "That was pure and sweet, Alex." And she sort of smiled--you know, like she does--as if she was certain of what was going on in my head. And you know what else? You should have seen her jaw fall open when she met Luke. He's so handsome; everyone thinks he's gorgeous. But she couldn't hide her expression from me, I know her too well. I thought I had introduced them before, but they both said I hadn't. She was funny when she saw him. I told her, "Number one, he's too young for you. And number two, he's already taken. So don't get any ideas, you hear?" We got a good laugh out of that! Katherine looked fabulous, too, like right out of a page from Vogue. She gave my mom an interesting gift: season tickets to the opera. My mom was really taken by that. But I think Katherine was impressed with how nice everything was. She was probably expecting something different, something more like my mom--trashy--but my mom pulled it off wonderfully.
Dr. Balis: Sounds like the wedding went well.
Mr. Rozzi: For the most part it did. It's so cool--my parents are married! And everything went great, I guess...I mean other than my thumb. And Mark felt so bad about it, too, like it was all his fault or something. But it wasn't like he attacked me. We were fooling around a little too rough, that's all. Shit happens. But it totally hurts, dude.
Dr. Balis: I can imagine. So things are going well with Luke?
Mr. Rozzi: You know, they are. Almost too well. It's weird, too. The other day, someone trashed the studio at Ralph's place, made a big mess. Well, I'm not stupid, it was probably Regina, you know? And she probably thought we wouldn't figured it out. Well, Ralph extended the alarm system to cover the studio as well, and he put in these heavyduty locks, too. But Luke...well, he was sweet about it. Reminding me and making a joke out of it, he said that he knows exactly how she feels, referring to himself plowing over my paints that day--that infamous day--when he walked in on Camille and me. I'll never live it down.
Dr. Balis: I don't know about that. I think you're already "living it down," as you put it.
Mr. Rozzi: Well, we're able to joke about it now. That must mean everything is cool with him.
Dr. Balis: A sense of humor always helps.
Mr. Rozzi: Yeah. Oh yeah! I went to one of Tony's meetings at Rational Recovery. He said the main difference between this and a twelve-step program is that he finds the people not to be all sanctimonious about their recovery like those religious fanatics--the twelve-steppers. But he doesn't talk about pot smoking there. And he has a fan there, or a friend, I'm not sure which.
Dr. Balis: Oh?
Mr. Rozzi: Yeah, I met her. She was using crutches, and I was thinking, "Oh no, a bleeder!"
Dr. Balis: What do you mean?
Mr. Rozzi: You know a bleeder--someone who bleeds for sympathy or milks a situation for all it's worth. But I think I was wrong about her. It's just that there's something about her I can't quite figure out. She sat right next to Tony and looked at him all googly-eyed. I don't know, he was oblivious, but I saw it right away, the moment she looked at him. She has this dark side, I think. We walked her back to her car. It was starting to get dark out, and I was thinking that she just wanted to dart out of there, both while we were in the meeting and when we were walking with her. She was kind of shy, but definitely complicated. She kind of intrigued me. And I know that Tony really likes her a lot, he said they sort of clicked when they first met., Sharon, that's it, Sharon. So anyway, I went to this meeting and saw what it was about I guess. But still the fact remains that he is smoking like a fiend and thinks that just because he's not doing crystal-meth anymore, he's not using drugs. It's pointless to even try to argue with him about it.
Dr. Balis: I agree with you, it's probably not in his best interest to be smoking marijuana given his past history of drug abuse, but it is up to him to decide if and when to quit. Perhaps you should congratulate him on stopping his crystal-meth use. Maybe it'll encourage him to go further.
Mr. Rozzi: Yeah, I know, but...shit! I'm just worried about him, about what he'll do next. He even let that girl stay at his house last weekend, and he doesn't even really know her. She could be a psychopath. And then what if he hooks up with her? You know like Cami and I did? He's been known to "cross-over," as he puts it. Shit! She may even still be staying there.
Dr. Balis: These are things you have no control over, Alex.
Mr. Rozzi: Well, I feel like if I somehow imagine the worst, it won't happen, and I'll be happily surprised. But if the worst does happen, I won't be stunned. Oh well. I know you're right. I've got to let it go or something.
Dr. Balis: That's right, you do.
Mr. Rozzi: I know, I know. Oh yeah, the other day, I went over to my mom's and met the guys who moved this huge metal sculpture thing that someone from SII sent to the wedding reception. I think it was her boss or something. We didn't have a clue as to what to do with it, so we put it in the backyard. You can see it through the dining room window, twisting and turning. It's kind of cool, but really big. I mean huge! It's over ten feet tall, way over, with moving parts that move in the wind. And everyone was totally surprised when it arrived. You should have seen the looks on people's faces. Anyway, I picked up the mail and watered the backyard and stuff, since they're away on their honeymoon. While I was sitting at her desk, I found this pamphlet for Toughlove. Have you heard of them?
Dr. Balis: Toughlove? Yes, I've heard about them.
Mr. Rozzi: I guess they think I'm out of control still. Some of those places set you up, get you kidnapped, and then send you away to Tahiti or something--someplace where no one knows to find you or even to look for you. And then they beat you, and make you do hard labor, and try to break your spirit and stuff. I'm glad I live with Ralph, he wouldn't let them take me like that.
Dr. Balis: Is that what you think they are planning? Did you find something that made you think this was their plan?
Mr. Rozzi: No, it was just the Toughlove brochure. But it got me thinking about this shit, you know? I'm doing good now, better than before. Just the other day, I met with a counselor at school--it was one of those exit interviews for the year--and he told me that by the end of the first semester next year, I'll have enough credits to graduate early. I already knew that. But when I told my mom about it--it was around the time she got pissed at me that last time--she knew I would need her signature and she said she wouldn't do it. She thinks she's got me by the balls. But by the end of the first term next school year, I'll be eighteen and I won't need her signature. Cool, huh?
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Mr. Rozzi: And I'm going to do the same thing with my driver's license. I'll wait until I'm eighteen for that, too. I won't need her approval for that either...just in case she's a psycho-bitch again, you never know. They make everything so complicated for kids these days, you know? If I want a driver's license, I have to have a permit first. And there's an age restriction on my passengers for like ever. And another signature is needed. It's all bullshit, and I don't need any of that right now, not ever! Going back to the wedding for a minute, you asked me what I felt like when she got all emotional. Well, I think that it hit her, finally. She was abandoned by Mark when she was pregnant with me, and she never got to realize her dream--she wanted to be married to him. And now...well, now she has finally got him, and I'm here, too. I don't know, maybe there's a chance for this family after all, you know? Maybe we can figure out a way to get over ourselves for a while and get along. When they get back from their honeymoon, Mark said he wants to have a talk with me about something, I don't know what--he was cryptic. But he wants to discuss something with me. Maybe it's about that Toughlove shit. So, it's pretty cool. Now I got what I always dreamed of: a father that is married to my mom, and a family. This all sounds weird coming out of my mouth.
Dr. Balis: Weddings sometimes bring out the best in people. Who knows? Perhaps your family can move beyond its differences and get along. But I would caution you to take the same attitude with your hopes for your family as you are taking with Tony...
Mr. Rozzi: Hope for the best and expect the worst?
Dr. Balis: Precisely.
Mr. Rozzi: I know. You're probably right. It's all that I can do, I guess. But you know, if they plan to have me kidnapped, they have better be prepared for a huge fight. But I'm going to do them one better. I'm going to make sure that no more trouble comes my way, so they won't have an excuse to try to send me away. I'll be good from now on. Besides, I have some plans for myself and...well, I don't want anything interfering with that.
Dr. Balis: Plans?
Mr. Rozzi: Yeah, I've told you about that. You know, the theater? There, you do remember. You do pay attention to me after all! Ha! Ha! Just giving you a bad time, Doc.
Dr. Balis: Well, Alex, keep up with the good work. I'll look forward to seeing you next week.
Mr. Rozzi: All right, man, see you later.
Dr. Balis: Goodbye, Alex.
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